Mistakes
by AsTheDarknessFalls
Summary: It started as a crush, which developed into a relationship, which turned into...a mistake.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is a re-do of a different story of mine, which kind of... crashed and burned. Anyways, I was up to about chapter twelve on that one, so updates will probably come very steadily until they're through. I've just got to proof-read them, and I'll also be working on future chapters. Writer's block kicked my butt on this, but it's been a couple of months so I hope my ideas will start flowin better **

**With that being said, here we go!**

Chapter One

"-And there goes McDonald, she's got the quaffle! She shoots-SHE SCORES!" Cheers erupted from the Gryffindor's side of the stands. Remus Lupin watched his friend, James Potter-who also happened to be Gryffindor Seeker of their Quidditch team-do a fist pump in the air before twirling a few times on his broomstick. Remus couldn't help but grin. James was so cocky.

"And Gryffindor is now up 160-130-close game if I ever saw one! Belby's got the quaffle, passes it to Smith. He shoots, HE-misses." Boos from the Slytherin end. A few Hufflepuffs let out a cheer; if Slytherin won the match, Gryffindor would place third, bumping Hufflepuff up to second. James wasn't going to let that happen. Remus watched him shoot across the Quidditch field, eyes wild with concentration. Black sped after him, apparently noticing the same thing James had. Sirius-who was also Remus's friend-did a sharp intake from the commentator's stand. "Yes, Potter has obviously seen something we haven't-could it be the snitch? Black follows Potter, less than a few inches behind him." Sirius's voice began to get excited and flustered, speech becoming more mingled together. Remus watched the scene with bated breath. Sirius's brother against his best mate. Remus was rather amused to find that Sirius much more wanted his friend to win than his brother. Understandable, though; Regulus was a git.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT-POTTER'S GOT THE SNITCH!" As Sirius's voice boomed around the stadium, Remus stood up, cheering madly. The whole stadium was a deafening roar of cheers and boos. James showed the snitch off to the stadium, doing a couple of flips in midair before landing safely on the ground.

Remus nearly fell down the stairs as he tried to reach the bottom of the bleachers. People were running around madly; he could barely see where he was going.

"Peter!" he yelled, having completely lost his friend. He didn't know how he was going to find him, he was so short.

He found James through the crowd, surrounded by fans. Sirius was already by his side. Peter was nowhere to be found; probably still fighting his way through the ecstatic crowd.

"Brilliant, James!" Remus said, patting his friend on the back. "Ruddy brilliant! Meet you back in Gryffindor tower! Party!" He and Sirius wove their way through the crowd, snagging Peter on the way. They dropped by the kitchens and returned to Gryffindor tower, pockets and arms full of food.

The party was well under way. Everyone surrounded the Marauders, wanting food. Quidditch games always left everyone famished. A little while later James was squeezing through the portrait hole, looking tired by excited.

The Gryffindors cheered, and Sirius hoisted James up on his shoulders while everyone yelled his name.

"JAMES! JAMES! JAMES!" Remus about yelled himself hoarse in the process. Finally, exhausted, he left everyone to it and retreated to the fire, a full blaze going. He grabbed a handful of Berty Bot's Every Flavor Jelly Beans and stuffed them in his mouth, waiting until James finally emerged from the crowd with Sirius at his side.

"Hey guys," he said, panting slightly as he reached his friends. "Sorry I'm a bit late." Sirius waved it off.

"No worries, mate. That was bloody good match. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look for Mary...she must be here somewhere..." His friends snorted. Mary McDonald was arguably the best-looking girl in their year. Only James had to disagree.

"Where's Evans?" he asked, peering over Remus's shoulder. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"I'd have thought that you would call her Lily now, seeing as you two are friends."

"Right. Force of habit." No, Remus very well knew it wasn't force of habit. James did it because it drove Lily insane. Remus wasn't quite sure that was a good thing, but no matter how loud he talked, none of his words seemed to penetrate James' thick skull.

"Give her some time," Remus said, grabbing James' arm. "She'll come around if you leave her alone. We don't need you scaring her away."

"What?" James sputtered. "Since when have I 'scared' Evans-"

"Lily," Remus corrected him.

"-Lily, whatever, since when have I scared her away?"

Remus pretended to be thinking hard. "Hmm, maybe since the first time you asked her out?"

"It was before that, Remus," Peter said seriously. Remus laughed, and, James, after a moment, joined in with them.

"But seriously," he said after a moment, "I'll see you later. I'm gonna find Ev-I mean, Lily."

James disappeared into the crowd, leaving Remus with Peter. "I'm going to get some punch," he decided. Peter followed him.

Remus yawned and rubbed his dry eyes. It must've been at least midnight by now. He was lounging in an armchair near the fireplace, James on his right and Peter on his left. To the left of Peter sat Sirius and Mary, snogging so furiously that it looked like they were eating each other's faces. Peter seemed quite uncomfortable about the arrangement. All of the Gryffindors besides the sixth and seventh years had drifted off to their bed.

"Right," said James, still eying Lily. She was talking to Amanda Bones, who was in her sixth year. "Now that all of the youngsters have gone up to bed, who says we play a game of Spin the Bottle?" Remus snorted. He could see where this was all going. And he had to admit, it wasn't that bad of an idea.

"I will," he volunteered. Sirius and Mary broke apart, agreeing to play also.

"What about you, Peter?" James asked. Peter looked rather uncomfortable.

"Well-er..."

"C'mon, it'll be fun." Remus really doubted that it would be much of a game for Peter. He had never kissed a single girl in his life, and he was pretty sure no girl was in a hurry to kiss him either.

"Leave him alone," Remus said, coming to Peter's rescue. "If he doesn't want to play, he doesn't have to." James turned to Lily and Amanda.

"What about it?" he asked. Lily looked rather reluctant, but Amanda said encouragingly,

"C'mon Lily; just one round."

"Oh, fine. I will." James little by little recruited everyone remaining in the tower to play. After ten minutes everyone was situated in a circle in the middle of the common room. Remus glanced around. James was on his left, sitting next to Sirius. On Sirius's left was Mary, followed by Amanda and Lily. Next to Lily was Arnold Reagans, a fellow seventh year, and next to him was Zach Aurlas. Sitting next to him was Amy Scott. Remus did a head count. Eight. Not that bad.

"Who's going first?" Sirius asked, glancing around at everyone.

"I will," James said compulsively, reaching forward and giving the bottle a good spin. Everyone watched as the bottle went around once, twice, three times before slowing to a stop. The head of the bottle was pointing almost directly between Amy and himself. James looked up.

"Well?" he said.

"Not me," Remus said almost immediately. "No way." James grinned at Amy. She slid up next to James and their lips locked. Sirius wolf whistled and Zach laughed. After a moment Amy pulled away, but James almost immediately pulled her back in.

"Nuh uh," he said, almost teasingly. "Not until the bottle's spun again." Sirius glanced at James and then took his turn at spinning the bottle. Remus tried his best not to look at James and Amy. James was a rather loud kisser. After the bottle rested at a stop at Lily, Sirius grinned at Remus and broke Amy and James apart.

"My turn," he said, almost evilly.

"Was I picked again?" Amy asked disbelievingly. Sirius shook his head.

"Lily was." James' face turned a nasty red color and he shot daggers at Sirius with his eyes. Lily glanced at Amanda rather reluctantly, and Amanda nodded.

"You agreed to play the game," she pointed out. Lily wrinkled her nose and turned to Sirius, kissing him reluctantly. Remus could tell he wasn't trying too hard.

In no time at all it was Remus's turn. He took a deep breath and spun the bottle, watching it spin around and around in circles. Hope it's Amanda... he thought. Just as the motion of the bottle began to make him feel dizzy, it stopped, point at Sirius. Remus just stared at Sirius.

"Well mate," he said, laughing, "you _did_ agree to play the game."

"Right..." Remus said slowly, glancing at Sirius nervously.

"C'mon, it's just a game," Sirius said, grabbing the front of Remus's shirt and pulling him towards him. The only thing that went through Remus's mind was how odd it was to be kissing Sirius. One of his best mates, whom he had known ever since their first year. He had never snogged a guy, and Remus felt especially awkward because he surrounded by six other people. Surely this was going to reach the whole school's ears by the following day.

It was a relief to break away from him, and as he resumed his position in the circle, he ignored everyone's wolf whistles and side comments. He felt highly embarrassed. He couldn't even look at Sirius for the rest of the night; every time he did, all he saw were his lips. And that thought grossed him out entirely. Why couldn't it have been a girl? He moaned to himself. Why me?

Surely Sirius felt the same; it must've been as awkward to kiss Remus as it had been for him to kiss Sirius. The difference between the two was that Sirius acted cool about it, like it was nothing to worry about. As long as it doesn't happen again, right?

It was two in the morning before the students finally headed off to bed. They had been playing Spin the Bottle the whole time; Remus now felt like his lips were going to fall off. He massaged them, fervently hoping they wouldn't.

As they were all dressing for bed, Zach, who was to his right, said, "That was some kiss, wasn't it?"

"Which one?" Remus asked. There had been a lot of kisses that night, so he wasn't sure which one he was referring to.

"Oh, you know," Zach said, laughing airily as Remus pulled back his cover around his bed so he could look at Zach. "And I thought you two were just friends."

James, who was on his right, sniggered. "That's what I thought, too."

"It was just a kiss!" Remus said hotly, face burning. "We were just playing a stupid game."

"Didn't look like it to Sirius," James said, lowering his voice considerably and glancing towards the direction of Sirius' bed. "He was all into it."

"Was not," Remus muttered. "I'd think I'd know."

"You had your eyes closed, though," Zach pointed out. "You didn't know what Sirius' face was like."

"Oh? And what was it like?" Remus said scathingly.

"He was enjoying it, mate," James said. "You could tell."

"He was not," Remus said dismissively, although he was starting to have second thoughts about it all. "You guys are just making a big deal out of something that was obviously nothing. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some sleep. We had a Hogsmead visit planned." James raised his eyebrows.

"Whatever you say, Moony. G'night."

"'Night," he yawned to both Zach and James. Rolling over, he stared at the coverings of James bed. What did he mean, he was all into it? The kiss seemed rather forced and awkward, but maybe that was just him. He didn't know. Besides, how could he concentrate on anything besides the fact that he was kissing one of his best mates? He was conscious of his arms dangling limply by his sides, but he was almost sure that Sirius had been holding his face. Which made the whole ordeal much more awkward than it would've been. And the fact that everyone was watching them? Maybe he should've kept his eyes open as a sign that the kiss meant absolutely nothing to him. But if it did, then why was he bothered by it so much, and Sirius wasn't?

"You're overreacting, Remus," he said to himself. "Get over it. It was just a bleeding kiss." By the time he began to fall asleep, though, he was doubting the surety of his words.

**Thank you for reading this far, and I hope that you'll drop by a review! I forgot to mention this above, but in later chapters it will interchangeably switch between Remus's and Sirius's point of view.**

**Also, ConCrit is very much welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Remus was having a very strange dream. Sirius was chasing him through the forest. "Moony! Oh Moony!" he called, his voice echoing through the trees. "Where are you?"

Remus ducked behind a tree, trying to be as silent as he could. "Moony! Moony, wake up!"

He blinked his eyes open, confused, only to stare straight into those of Sirius'. "Gah!" he exclaimed, sitting up quickly. The two marauders groaned as they hit heads. Sirius straightened up, massaging his forehead.

"Blimey, Moony," he grumbled. "I'm gonna get a bruise there now."

"Don't wake me up with your face so close to mine next time," Remus snapped, leaping out of bed.

"What's wrong with you?" Sirius asked, sounding slightly hurt.

"Nothing, nothing. Sorry," Remus said, waving his arms. "Let me hurry and get changed; I'll be right out." Drawing the curtains closed on his bed, he dug through the contents of his school trunk, extracting a clean pair of pants, a shirt, and boxers. Changing quickly, he rushed to the bathroom and attempted to smooth his hair down, rapidly brushing his teeth.

"Hurry up!" James called from the other room. "We've been waiting forever!"

"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!" he called, rushing to his friends. "Let's go."

"We'd already be there if you wouldn't have slept in," James grumbled, but he nudged his friend, showing that he didn't mean any real harm.

"I'm starving," Sirius groaned, clutching his stomach.

"Yeah," Remus said, staring at the ground. It still felt too awkward to look at Sirius. Peter walked silently beside Remus, studying the carpet.

"What's with you, Wormtail?" James asked. "You seem a bit quiet."

"I'm just tired," Peter said, yawning slightly. That was probably true, seeing as Peter got up at the crack of dawn every morning.

"What's your excuse?" Sirius asked Remus. He looked up.

"What?" he said rather harshly.

"Blimey, Moony, calm down. It was just a question."

"Sorry I snapped at you. Today just isn't the best day."

"You're not still worked up about that kiss last night, are you?" James asked, fishing around in his pocket for something. He finally came up with a golden snitch.

"Oh, enough with the stupid snitch!" Remus said, exasperated. James just raised his eyebrows at Remus before continuing.

After grabbing a quick bite of breakfast, the Marauders set out across the grounds, all eagerly looking forward to Hogsmeade. Remus was hoping that the shops would help get his mind off of the problem that was pestering him so badly. He glanced out across the lake, watching the smooth ripples of the surface. After a couple moments of silence, Sirius said, almost teasingly,

"You still haven't answered my question, Moony."

"Your-your question?" Remus said, although he knew perfectly well what James was talking about. Sirius let out a sigh.

"It was just a kiss. Just a kiss during a friendly game of Spin the Bottle," he said, almost impatiently. "It's not like there's anything going on between us, right?"

"I doubt any game of Spin the Bottle is friendly, Padfoot," James said seriously. Sirius let out a laugh.

"It was just a game. Don't worry yourself about it." Remus nodded and continued on, still not convinced by Sirius' words.

Hogsmeade was its usual cheerful place: streets adorned with small shops and venders, brightly colored and neatly organized. The sun beat down on the Marauders, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was a perfect day. Remus glanced at the shops as they tread the familiar path down to Zonko's Joke Shop. He itched the back of his neck and tugged at the collar of his shirt. It was almost too hot for comfort. Then again, he wasn't sure if it was the heat that was causing discomfort or the person he was walking next to.

Quit beating yourself up about it, he told himself sternly. Padfoot's right. It was just a kiss. Nothing more. Still, he barely paid attention to the pranks and candies at Zonko's; he was still buried way too deep in his own mind. He was asked questions numerous times before he actually responded to them, and he didn't hear half the things that were said. By the time that they walked out of Zonko's, Remus wasn't paying attention to anything at all. Finally, when everyone fed up with Remus' behavior, Sirius gave his box of Filibuster's Fireworks to James and grabbed Remus firmly by the arm, saying, "We need to talk." Remus followed him out of earshot of the others.

"What's wrong, mate?" Sirius asked, sounding concerned.

"I just... I just can't get that kiss out my head," Remus managed to say after failing to collect his thoughts.

"Again? Moony, really, it was nothing. Nothing at all." He glanced up mischievously at Remus. "Unless you want it to be something." Remus shook his head furiously.

"No!" he exclaimed. "No. And I know what you're going to tell me, that it was nothing, that I shouldn't worry about it, but I can't help it, Padfoot. It won't leave my mind."

"And why is that?" Sirius' eyes seemed to bore into Remus' skull.

"I dunno," Remus said. "I'm sorry; you're right. It was nothing. Nothing at all." Remus made to leave, but Sirius stopped him.

"I know you're lying," he said flatly.

"What-?"

"I know you too well, Moony. Too well. It's going to keep on bothering you, and there's nothing I can do about it," Sirius said firmly. "Let's just get back to the others." That conversation was a complete waste of time. It didn't prove anything. Remus was still completely confused. However, he tried his best to forget about it and go about his day as normal, joining in conversations and laughing along with the others. He just couldn't stop looking at Sirius, at his lips. After watching Sirius talk and laugh and do all kinds of things with his mouth, what happened the night before was a completely different experience. He had kissed plenty of girls, yes, but their kisses were nothing compared to Sirius'. Not that he enjoyed it. Not at all.

The following day, he tried to concentrate on his classes, but he was rather distant and found himself tuning whole conversations out. After telling Sirius that he was fine, he had no choice but act like he was.

Remus saw it as the perfect opportunity to talk to Sirius during their break right after lunch. Remus, Sirius, and Peter had break, but James was in Muggle Studies. He was the only Marauder to have picked that elective. Remus found it rather useless; what was the point of learning about Muggles when they were wizards?

Peter had ran off to go research something in the library while Remus and Sirius remained in the common room, decided to tackle a particularly difficult essay Professor Slughorn had given them.

"Wish I would've gone to the library," Sirius grumbled down at his blank piece of parchment. "I have no idea what to write."

"Put it off until tomorrow," Remus said briskly. Sirius looked up at him in surprise. "We need to talk."

"Not about the whole snogging thing-"

"I need to know, Padfoot. You're being completely indifferent about the kiss, but I need to know. Last night I was talking to James and Zach, and they said that you looked like you enjoyed it." Sirius stared at him

"Didn't you?" he asked.

"What?" Remus said, completely caught off guard. "No! No, I ruddy well didn't, I hated it!"

Sirius looked slightly hurt. "Am I really that bad of a kisser?" he said.

"I don't- I can't- I don't know, Padfoot! I wasn't paying attention to the kiss," Remus said truthfully.

"Then what were you paying attention to?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Well, the whole thing was pretty awkward, maybe that's what was going through my head!"

Sirius sniggered. "So your first kiss with a guy and all you're thinking about was how awkward it was."

"Well, it was awkward!" Remus persisted. "To have all those people watching us? And I didn't want to kiss you, I should have never played that bloody game." It felt nice to get all of his emotions out. Even as he said it, he felt himself calming down.

Sirius leaned closer. "Do you want to kiss me now? There's nobody watching. Nobody has to know."

"I don't-" Remus' words were cut off by Sirius' lips, locked on his own. Remus was so surprised by the turn of events that he kissed Sirius back. He was aware of Sirius putting his hand softly on the back of Remus' head. Light and cautious at first, Sirius deepened the kiss when Remus didn't back off. Instead of dwelling upon the awkwardness of it all, his mind went blank. For the first time, he felt a stirring in his chest. It was warm and fuzzy, spreading through his body, right down to his fingers, which he laced together around Sirius' waist. Yes, he wasn't feeling awkward. It felt kind of nice. Now that he thought about it, Sirius' lips were soft and full, fitting so perfectly with his. After what seemed like forever, he pulled away. They sat in silence for a few moments.

"What...was that?" Remus finally said. Sirius grinned.

"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it." Remus glared at Sirius.

"You're not making this easy."

"Who said I was supposed to?" Sirius said loftily. He fixed his eyes on Remus, then whispered, "You enjoyed it. You know you did."

Remus scooted farther away from Sirius. "Okay, okay, I admit: I liked it. But that doesn't change anything, does it?"

"What do you mean, it doesn't change anything?" Sirius said indignantly.

"So what, I like kissing boys. There's no reason for me to go out with you. Just because I kissed you doesn't mean that I like you. It just means that I like kissing you."

"And you want to do it some more?" Sirius asked, leaning forward in a teasing manner.

"No. I mean, at least, not right now."

"Not right now?" Sirius repeated. "When are we supposed to do it, in bed?"

"Stop!" Remus said. "Just stop."

"Well then," Sirius said, rolling his eyes and turning his attention back to his work. "Well then."

Remus rolled his eyes as well and stared at his piece of parchment, shaking his head. Not more than a moment later Peter stumbled through the portrait hole, holding what must have been six different books.

"A... little... help?" he gasped, almost collapsing.

"Aw, poor Wormtail," Sirius said, taking off the first three books. "You look like you're about to pass out."

"They're just heavy, that's all," Wormtail said, looking slightly embarrassed. "Er- are you two OK?" Remus looked up.

"We're fine, Wormy," he insisted. "And please tell me that you got a potion's book as well." Peter nodded at Sirius.

"The first one on the top."

"Perfect," Remus said, extracting the book from Sirius and sinking into the nearest armchair, burying his nose into it. In no time, however, he was fast asleep.

"Moony? Moony? REMUS!" Remus awoke with a grunt.

"What? Huh? Whuzzgoneon?"

Sirius was looking at him, panicked. "Class started five minutes ago! Get your butt out of that chair!" Remus stood up, rather groggily, feeling slightly dizzy.

"What class are we going to again?" Sirius shook his head.

"You're hopeless," he said exasperatedly as he and Remus hurried from Gryffindor tower. They ran down the enchanted staircase (Remus almost falling down in the process) and burst into their Transfiguration class.

"Sorry we're late," Sirius said, panting as they took their seats. Professor Dumbledore raised his eyebrow at them.

"What is your excuse this time?" he asked, quite calmly.

Remus exchanged a glance with Sirius. "Er- I fell asleep, sir." Professor Dumbledore chuckled.

"Detention for both of you, six o'clock tonight. Meet in my office." Remus nodded, digging through his bag for his copy of Transfiguration Today.

"This is so unfair," Sirius groaned as he and Remus headed on their way to the professor's office. "It's not my fault that we were late."

"Actually, it kind of it," Remus pointed out mildly. "You could have left me to sleep in the common room so that you could make it to Transfiguration on time, like a good boy." Sirius grinned.

"Moony, since when have I ever been a good boy?" Remus paused for a moment, then admitted,

"You've got a point." Sirius laughed.

"Of course I do."

Remus knocked quickly on Professor Dumbledore's office door. "Come in," Professor Dumbledore called. "Good evening. Today I want you to help me grade Transfiguration homework."

"Oh, well that's not too bad," Sirius commented. Professor Dumbledore dug around in his desk and extracted a pile 5 feet high of parchment. "I take that back," he said.

"I have compiled a list of everything that needs to be noted in each essay," Dumbledore said, handing the boys seven different pieces of parchment. "A point should be rewarded for each thing they mention that's on the list. Put the score at the top of the essay and circle it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a staff meeting to attend. Be back in... three hours." With that he left the office. When he reached the doorway, he turned on his heel, adding, "And don't think I won't know if you goof off in here."

Remus glanced at the door one last time, then handed a piece of parchment to Sirius. "You do the first pile," he said, "and I'll do the second."

"He isn't planning to have us do all of this, is he?" Sirius asked, eyes wide. Remus shrugged grimly.

"Let's just hope that you're a fast reader." For a moment there was silence besides the rustling of parchment. Remus scanned the essay, noting for each thing that was supposed to be on there. He scribbled the score at the top and continued onto the essay underneath.

"How long has it been?" Sirius groaned, sometime later. "My eyes feel like they're going to fall out of their sockets."

"I agree with you, Padfoot," Remus said, rubbing his own. He glanced at the clock. "We still have an hour and a half to go."

"Seriously?" Sirius exclaimed. He slammed down his quill. "I need to take a break."

"You can't," Remus told him sternly. "Professor Dumbledore told us he would know if there was any goofing off."

"But I can't read anymore," Sirius complained. "The words are all jumbling together." Remus shook his head.

"Fine. We'll have a small break. Not a long one, though."

Sirius sniggered. "Since when have you become my teacher?"

Remus rolled his eyes and lounged back in his chair, eyelids slowly drooping down. "Wake me if I fall asleep," he told Sirius, letting his eyes closed.

"Right," Sirius mumbled somewhere off to his left.

Remus' mind was reeling despite his tiredness. He hadn't had time to dwell upon what was really tugging at his mind because he had been trying so hard to pay attention all day. Now that he could think, however, things were becoming clearer and clearer, yet foggier and foggier at the same time. What had happened in Gryffindor tower had been surprising and unexpected. It made him feel guilty, because, in fact, he didn't like Sirius whatsoever. Only as friends.

He had considered asking Sirius multiple times what his feelings were on the subject, but they had never been alone since the incident, and frankly, Remus thought it was too awkward of a situation to bring up. That left him even more confused, because, he hated to admit it, but he kind of enjoyed their kiss. He didn't know what had gotten into him. He certainly didn't want to kiss him again, that was for sure, and he had no feelings for him. Everyone has snogged their best mate at one point in their life, right?

No, he thought to himself. That's not normal. That's definitely not normal.

"Moony!" Sirius grabbed Remus from his thoughts. "You almost fell asleep."

"Right," Remus said, rubbing his eyes and continuing his task.

**I was thinking of uploading a new chapter every day until I run out. So until around chapter eleven, expect daily updates c:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Ow, ow, I think I got some in my eye!" Sirius cried, clutching his right eye. "It's burns! Ow!" Remus suppressed a laugh.

"Maybe not the smarted move," he commented, using the glare off the knife to shine a light on the wall. "You might want to be a bit more careful next time." Remus, Sirius, James, Peter, and Lily were all crowded in the Potters' kitchen. It was three days before Christmas, and the five friends had agreed to help James' mother prepare dinner.

"Only you can cut into a tomato and manage to get the juice in your eye," James snorted, shredding lettuce in a large bowl. "I can't believe mum won't let us use magic," he said furiously, ripping a lettuce leaf a bit too hard while Sirius still howled in pain. "Oh, shut up," he said to Sirius. "Moony, help that git get the tomato juice out of his eye before he wets himself."

Remus put his knife down and grabbed his wand, moving over to Sirius. "Move your hand," he said. "I need to get some water in your eye."

Sirius stubbornly clutched his eye, refusing to move it. "Padfoot, do you want it out or not?" When Sirius still insisted on being difficult, Remus grabbed his hand and forced it away from his eye. He quickly let go, feeling a tingling go through his fingertips. "Hold your eye open," he instructed.

"It hurts, Moony," he groaned.

"Do you want it out or not?" Remus demanded. Sirius nodded his head furiously.

"Geddit out, geddit out!"

"Then hold your eye open!" Remus snapped.

"That makes it hurt even more," Sirius complained.

"I DON'T CARE If IT HURTS, HOLD YOUR STUPID EYE OPEN!" Remus bellowed, waving his wand threateningly. "If you don't I'm going to hex you," he warned.

"Eurgh... fine," Sirius grumbled moodily, wincing as he held his eye open.

"Augmenti." A thin stream of water burst from the tip of Remus' wand and filled Sirius' eye.

Sirius moaned.

"That feels loads better, thanks, Moony."

"You better be grateful," Remus grumbled.

James, Peter, and Lily were still roaring with laughter by the time Remus resumed his dicing of the tomato. "What's so funny?" he demanded.

"You guys fight like a married couple," James pointed out.

For some stupid reason, Remus blushed, but he just raised an eyebrow and continued his work. That just made the three of them laugh even harder.

Five minutes later, Sirius was flicking at pea at Remus. He flinched slightly as it hit his cheek, but he just grabbed of cube of tomato and tossed it back at him without bothering to check if it hit him or not.

"Pathetic, Moony," Sirius laughed, tossing the tomato back at him. "You didn't even hit me."

"Why are you complaining?" Remus said, dicing the rest of the tomato. "At least you didn't get any more tomato juice in your precious eye." Sirius grinned.

"You're right about that," he said, glancing at Remus and catching his eye. Remus held his gaze for a couple of seconds before averting his eyes away before he started blushing again. What's wrong with you? He thought, shaking his head.

Later that night, the Marauders and Lily were playing a game of Exploding Snap. Remus, Sirius, and Peter against James and Lily. And guess who was losing?

"This is ridiculous!" Sirius said after their third round. "We've got three people of our team and we're still losing!"

"Patience, Padfoot," Remus said. "We could still win."

"What if I said I was done after this game?" James said loftily, obviously enjoying his victory.

"Then that'd be defeat. We'd win by default," Sirius argued. Lily laughed.

"Give it up, Sirius," she said. "Don't worry. We'll keep on playing."

"How are you so good?" Peter asked. "It really isn't fair."

James cocked an eyebrow. "Three against two. Yes, that definitely isn't fair."

Peter mumbled something under his breath.

"What's that, Wormy?" James asked tauntingly.

"Nothing," Peter said, going red.

"Oh look, a bug," Sirius suddenly said, gesturing to the floor. Remus reached forward to squish it at the same moment that Sirius did. Remus' hand brushed Sirius'; Remus retracted his hand and blushed slightly. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice. Nobody but Sirius.

"What's gotten into you, Moony?" he teased. "Got a little puppy love for me?"

"No!" Remus said, quickly. Sirius rolled his eyes and returned to the game.

Two mornings later, Remus woke to a pillow in his face. "Pftt!" He gasped for breath. The pillow was removed from his face and he made out the outline of Sirius. "What are you trying to do, kill me?" Sirius grinned.

"Something along that line." Remus shook his head.

"Violence is never the answer, Pads."

"Who says I was looking for an answer?" Remus elbowed him in the gut. "Oof! Cheer up, Remus, I was only kidding. Besides, today's Christmas! You know what that means: presents!" With that he dashed from the room. Remus snorted in amusement. The only thing that made Christmas bearable for Sirius: The presents. Remus dressed quickly, pulling a thick sweater over his head and flattening his hair, which seemed to want to stand on end. Remus suspected it was from the fright of nearly suffocating to death when he had woken up. Git... he though, shaking his head in amusement. Sirius was bad for his health. Hell, Sirius was bad for his own health. Remus nodded his head. That sounded about right.

"Morning everyone," he mumbled as he came down the stairs. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter."

"Morning," Mr. Potter replied.

"Come in here, Moony, look what Prongs got me!" Sirius said excitedly.

"What is it, Padfoot?" Remus asked, deciding to humor Sirius for a moment.

"Check it out. New product. Destructs anything in its path." Sirius showed Remus what looked like a small button. At first he thought it was a joke.

"Haha, very funny," he scoffed, grabbing the button and examining it. "Bloody brilliant joke."

"I'm not kidding!" Sirius said. "I'd show it to you, but..." His gaze wandered off in Mrs. Potter's direction. "I'll show you at Hogwarts."

"Oh no you won't," Lily said, eying the button apprehensively. "I will take that from you as soon as we reach the school." Sirius folded his arms.

"Lils, that's not fair..."

"Don't call me Lils," she said brusquely, but her eyes twinkled.

"Presents, Moony!" James called, tossing a few to him. Remus caught them and took a seat next to Sirius.

"That one's from me," James said, pointing to the big bright red one on top. Setting the others aside, Remus ripped the wrapping paper off of it. Underneath was a big box. Upon removing the lid, he found an enormous box of Honeyduke's chocolates and a small button very similar to the one Sirius had received. Remus just raised an eyebrow at James.

"If you think I'm going to use this-"

"Of course you're not. That was my excuse for buying another one." Remus grinned at James.

"I might just keep it. Never know when it'll come in handy." Remus still doubted its authenticity.

Remus received a book on identifying werewolves from Sirius (even he had to laugh at the joke), homemade pies from Mr. and Mrs. Potter, large quills that wrote in color-changing ink from his mum and dad, fancy robes from Lily, and a pair of binoculars from Peter.

"What are these, Wormy?" he asked, showing them up. "What do I need binoculars for?"

"They're not any binoculars," Peter said, grabbing them from him. "They're high tech. They can see ten times further than the regular."

"Nice one," Remus said. Looking at Sirius, he said, "Mind helping me carry my presents to my room?"

"Only if you help take mine," Sirius said, seizing the chocolates, the button, and the quills from Remus' pile. The two of them headed upstairs and dumped the things on Remus' bed.

"Not a bad haul this year," Sirius said, looking at Remus' presents.

"Yeah," Remus said. "Really, werewolf identifying?"

"Yup," Sirius said, looking at Remus. As he stared into Sirius' misty gray eyes, he noticed something he hadn't noticed before. They really were beautiful.

**I'd like to thank everybody that watched my story! Now some reviews? Just kidding :D**

**Sorry this one was a bit short, I had terrible writer's block when I wrote it D:**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

After New Year's the Marauders and Lily were sent back off to Hogwarts. James and Sirius grumbled the whole ride back to school because they hadn't finished the homework that they had been assigned before Christmas break.

"It's your own fault," Lily said sharply.

"Who do they think they are, giving us homework before a break? They know that we'll just forget," James groaned.

"Remus, Peter, and I haven't forgotten," Lily reminded them in a clipped tone. She seemed tired of their rants.

"Let me see your essay, Moony," Sirius demanded. "Professor Slughorn will give me detentions for a month if I don't finish it."

Remus, though he knew that he should refuse, felt it hard to say no. "You could always start it now," he suggested lightly. "I have the books if you need reference."

"You know I won't finish it in time," Sirius groaned. "Please. Please, Moony. Please."

"Quit your begging," Remus said, although he felt a strong desire to just hand his essay over. "It's your own fault that it's not finished."

"Who cares whose fault it is? Please, just this once, Moony." Casting a gaze at Lily, who raised her eyebrows in a don't-you-give-into-him sort of way, Remus sighed and said, "Fine. Just this once."

Lily exploded. "What? No, I forbid it. I will tell Professor Slughorn what you've done. And you will both get in trouble. I will make sure he knows that you both cheated."

"OK, jeez Lils, calm down," Sirius said, sounding alarmed.

"Don't call me Lils," Lily warned him in a dangerous voice. "You know how much I hate it."

"Which is why I do it, sweetheart," Sirius said loftily, pretending to yawn and draping his arm over Lily's shoulder. Remus, Peter, Lily, and Sirius burst into laughter at James' expression.

"I'm only teasing, Prongs," he said, though he made no attempt to move his arm.

The rest of the train ride the five friends played numerous games of Exploding Snap (Peter, Sirius, and Remus against James and Lily; Sirius was only able to claim his victory once) and chasing Chocolate Frogs around the compartment, which Lily agreed to only reluctantly as long as they cleaned the chocolate off of the window and seats.

"I should go see if I'm needed up front," Lily said a couple of hours later. "I'll see you at school." With that she got up and left the compartment. James watched her dreamily as she left and his gaze lingered on the door a moment after.

"Isn't she the best," he sighed, eyes glassed over. Nobody heard him, however; Remus was riffling through his bag for the essays Sirius hadn't completed and Sirius was hastily copying off of the bits of parchment Remus was handing him. Peter was on the floor, searching underneath the seat for the last Chocolate Frog, which seemed to have disappeared.

"You got Flitwick's essay with you?" James asked, looking over at Remus' and Sirius' trade.

"Just a moment, I'm using it," Sirius said, quill between his teeth as he scanned over the mentioned essay before scribbling furiously on his own piece of parchment.

"No copying," Remus warned. "You use your own wording."

"Don't worry, I will," Sirius said dismissively, although Remus reminded himself to check over the essays once they were complete.

"We can get the rest finished tonight," Remus promised Sirius and James as the school loomed into view. The four Marauders were now seated in a carriage, and Sirius and James still had Professor Slughorn's essay to do. (Funny how it all turned out, seeing as Sirius had been complaining about that particular essay not being finished during the train ride.)

"Thanks, Moony," Sirius said, handing back the remaining essays. A small smile played along Remus' lips but he simply pursed them and said,

"Next time finish your homework on your own."

"So," James said, casting his gaze around for Lily and lowering his voice considerably. "What about those buttons, eh? We should try them out soon."

"Give it a couple of days, Prongs," Remus said. "We've just gotten back and most likely we'll be drowning in homework. At least wait until we have time to do it."

"It won't take much," Sirius said, frowning. "All we've gotta do is plan out where we want them to go off, take them there, and then set them off."

"It would be the most effective between classes," James mused, "what with all the students in the hall. Besides, no one would be able to figure out who set it off with all the people."

"We don't need Moony, though," Sirius said thoughtfully. "We could do it ourselves, eh, Prongs?"

Even though Remus didn't particularly approve of the pranks they pulled, he couldn't bear to be left out. He always had to do it with them. He claimed it was to make sure that they didn't get in too much trouble, but they knew that it was because he secretly enjoyed them. If he thought about it, it was actually quite fun, especially when he didn't get caught.

"If we get caught and land ourselves in detention," Remus warned, "I'll never forgive you."

"'Nuff said," Sirius said happily. "We just have to make sure Lily doesn't find us out."

"Easy, Padfoot," James said, waving it away. "Too easy. She don't spend as much time with us at Hogwarts, does she? It will be a cinch."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "She knows we have it. She's more sly than you think, Lily."

"Don't pretend that you understand her all the sudden," James scoffed.

"I'm not," Remus said mildly. "I just believe that I know her more than you two; she has been on talking terms with me longer than you two."

"Not something to brag about," James sniffed. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Of course it isn't."

Just as Remus promised, their first day back from Christmas break was a busy one. Teachers gave detentions to any and all students that hadn't finished their homework, then proceeded to give long lectures about what they missed and how everything must get caught up. Even Remus was having problems paying attention, and felt his mind slipping away as he frantically scribbled down notes. Loads of homework were assigned in each class. They had no opportunities to do their little prank, because during breaks they could be found tearing through books in the library or working on long, intricate essays back in the common room. Even lunch didn't have its usual fun; Sirius was filling out a complicated Astronomy chart over his steak and kidney pie, Peter was making his roll do flips and cartwheels, James was checking his essay for Professor Flitwick's class for any mistakes underneath the table, and Remus had a book propped open against his flask of pumpkin juice, eyes scanning the pages. Even though he was intent on finishing up the chapter before their next class, the words began to jumble together and he found himself rereading whole sentences without getting a single thing out of it.

"Your soup, Moony," Sirius said suddenly, jerking Remus away from his reading. "It's dribbling all down your front." Remus was surprised to find his fingers wrapped around a spoon that was tipping slightly, sending a thin stream of chicken soup into his lap.

"Whoops," he said, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I was so trained on my book I didn't even realize I was eating anything."

"You weren't, Moony," Sirius said seriously. "You were sitting there with your mouth half open and a spoon full of soup in your hand, and you looked like a complete idiot." This earned a laugh from James, Peter, and Remus. The other two had long abandoned their attempts at finishing their schoolwork.

"Class is about to start, we should get heading," James said, observing his watch. "Don't want to be late for Professor Kettleburn's class." Sirius groaned.

"I haven't got that sketch finished," he said, looking helplessly at Remus. "Help please?"

"Certainly," Remus said, amused. "It's correctly said 'I don't have that sketch finished', not 'I haven't got that sketch finished.' Learn English correctly, Padfoot."

"You know what I mean," Sirius said crossly while James stifled a laugh in the background. "Please, let me take a look at your drawing, it'll only take a moment."

"No," Remus said, staring down at Sirius' pleading face. "It's your own fault you haven't got it finished."

"I'll get down on my knees and beg you if I have to," Sirius said.

"Beg all you want," Remus invited, envisioning in his mind how amusing it would be to have Sirius down on his knees, begging. Sirius promptly got down on one knee and grabbed Remus' hand in his own, halting the two in the middle of the corridor. Without warning, a shock jolted up Remus' arm that was so strong and so fierce that he almost jerked his hand away. Self-consciously his eyes locked on Sirius' gray ones. Since Christmas he hadn't stared so intently into his eyes, and strangely, it felt good. He felt his hand relax beneath Sirius'.

"Oh mighty Moony," Sirius began, "Will thou please let me examine thy homework? For the sake of my well-being?" Remus extracted his hand from Sirius' before he did something stupid like blush and said firmly, "No."

"Please?" Sirius stood up as the four continued on. "Please? Pretty please?"

"Shut up already," James groaned. "You'll live; this isn't the first time you've forgotten homework for a class."

"Pathetic, Moony," Sirius sniffed. "You won't help a friend in time of need?"

"If I promise we'll do those destructive button thingies tonight, will you get off my back?" Remus asked. Sirius brightened considerably.

"They're called Destructors," he told Remus. "Not 'those destructive button thingies.' Get it right."

"I'm so sorry," Remus said sarcastically. "My bad."

"Yes, it is your bad," Sirius said, eyes twinkling. Remus looked at him for a moment before looking away, feeling slightly giddy.

That night the four Marauders were waiting in the common room for their next class. Never had Charms been so anticipated.

"I think we can go now," James said, glancing down at his watch. "Yep, we can go." Remus gripped the Destructor in his hand, concealing it underneath his cloak. "Let me see them all," he said. "I'll drop them underneath the Cloak."

"C'mon, can't we join in on the fun?" Sirius whined.

James glanced around and then said quietly, "Fine. Get under here." He whipped the Cloak around himself and disappeared at once. Sirius grabbed the edge of the Cloak as it vanished and squeezed under it as well. Remus and Peter quickly followed.

"Blimey; I forgot what a tight squeeze this was," Sirius grumbled as Remus elbowed him in the stomach by accident.

"Whoops, sorry! I have no space to put my arms," Remus apologized, although he wasn't upset about the arrangement at all; for some reason he felt quite happy to be this close to Sirius.

"Shut up! What do you imagine someone would think if they came in here and heard voices?" Sirius did a sharp intake of breath and Remus knew he was ready to retort, but Remus breathed,

"Let it go." The four hobbled across the room and out the door. Thankfully, no one seemed to have noticed the door to the boys' dorm randomly open. Remus thought that it was just a matter of time before they did.

It was only with expertise that the four were able to climb out of the portrait hole without being suspected. After almost seven years of sneaking around, they knew just how to get by without being seen.

Remus thought it was rather a waste to wear the Cloak; the halls were so packed that they wouldn't have been able to be seen even without concealment. James led the way to the fifth floor, usually where the most traffic was. Marauder's Map held aloft, they made their way through the halls without bumping into anybody.

"Ready?" James breathed. Sirius nodded. Remus gripped his Destructor and showed it to James. He got the message and pointed to a spot on the floor right in front of the door. Remus bent down and made to set it on the ground, but in the process he elbowed Sirius again.

"Ouch!" he said.

"Well, I have to set it down," Remus whispered.

"Here's an idea," Sirius grumbled, massaging his knee, "why don't you get out and then set it down?"

"Fine idea," Remus said sarcastically, but James nodded.

"Good idea," he said. "Just get back under here when you get it."

"How will I know where you guys are?" Remus asked. "In case you haven't noticed, you're kind of invisible."

"Here." James ripped the Cloak off and handed it to Remus. "We'll each take a turn. We'll be around the corner." Remus glanced around, afraid that someone had noticed four boys randomly appear in the hallway, but no one took a notice to them. Watching the other three disappear around the corner, Remus took a look at the students passing him. No one took a second look.

Quickly, he slammed the button on the ground and covered himself with the Invisibility Cloak, getting as far away from the scene as possible.

The thing exploded, causing a loud boom and sending smoke in every direction. Remus couldn't help but cough, although no one seemed to notice. He disappeared around the corner, pulling the Cloak off of himself and handing it to James.

"Good job," James said, grinning.

Remus was heading back from dinner later on that night. Full and content, not even the promise of homework back in the common room could spoil his mood. Peter and James trotted beside him. Sirius had disappeared with Mary shortly after dinner had begun, which caused Remus to be slightly annoyed.

When the Fat Lady came in sight Remus realized something. "Left my Astronomy chart in the library, catch up with you guys later." With that he turned on his heel and headed in the opposite direction.

Returning from the library no more than five minutes later, he was rounding the corner when he heard a noise. Curious as to what it was, he wandered off in its direction.

He soon found the noise to be coming from a dormant classroom. Swinging the door open he found Sirius and Mary sitting on a desk, entwined together, and kissing so fiercely that it looked like they were eating each other's faces. That sparked anger deep in Remus' chest, and he found himself slamming the door shut and running down the hall, hands clenched tightly in fists. After muttering "Bubotuber" to the Fat Lady he climbed through the portrait hole and dashed up to his dorm as fast as his legs would allow. Falling on this bed, he tossed the chart carelessly aside. Hot tears began to splash down his face as he hid it in his pillow. He clenched the sheets and found himself swearing loudly and furiously into his pillow. He didn't realize that someone else had entered the dorm until he felt his hand on his back and heard his voice.

"Alright there, Moony?" Sirius spoke out of concern, but it just angered Remus even more. He chose to ignore him. "Moony. What's wrong." It wasn't a question; it was a demand. Sirius was demanding Remus to tell him what was wrong. Finally, he sat up, letting the rest of the swears roll off his tongue and furiously wiping the remainder of the tears from his face.

"Are you crying?" Sirius asked.

"N-No," Remus stuttered.

"Don't lie," Sirius scoffed. "Why are you crying?"

"I walked in on you and Mary," Remus mumbled, gaze fixed intently on his hands.

"And?" Sirius prompted.

"I dunno," Remus said. "That's it. End of story."

"No, it's not!" Sirius said indignantly. "You're obviously upset by it."

"You two- you two just can't run around snogging everywhere!" Remus burst out, twisting his hands.

"We weren't _running around snogging everywhere_!" Sirius said angrily. "We were in a deserted classroom!"

"Still- I- You think you can snog every girl in this school! You can't!" Remus said, fumbling over his words in frustration.

"I can't? _I can't_? Since when do you decide who I can kiss?"

"You're at perfect liberty to kiss whoever you want!" Remus yelled.

"You're not acting like it!"

"Maybe that's because-" Remus stopped abruptly, unable to voice his thoughts.

"Maybe that's because what?" Sirius snapped.

Remus looked at his hands, twisting them more violently. Finally he said what he'd been unable to face; unable to accept.

"Maybe that's because I love you."

**It's super rushed, sorry guys :I**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

It took Remus a moment to fully comprehend what he had just said. By the look on Sirius' face, he was having some trouble processing it, too. When he realized that he had had just confessed his love to one of his best mates, he did the only thing he could think to do. He leaped from the bed and ran as fast as he could out of the dorm. He didn't stop when he reached the common room, but rather fell through the portrait hole. ("What's wrong with you?" The Fat Lady asked. She was ignored.)

Not quite sure of where he was headed, he kept running and running until he found himself on the school grounds. It wasn't until then that he stopped to catch his breath, heart thumping wildly and head spinning in circles. He walked to the lake's edge, taking a seat on the banks of it and staring into its deep blue depths.

What did I just do? he thought. It can't be true what I just said, it can't. And yet somehow he knew that it was. He, Remus Lupin, was in love with his best mate, Sirius Black. He probably hated him now. Probably wouldn't ever talk to him again. _Don't think like that_, a voice in his head said firmly. _Sirius won't hate you for loving him. That would be just cruel._ Just cruel, would it? Their friendship could only take a nosedive from here. How awkward it must be for Sirius to have to put up with Remus knowing that he loved him. What a bad position he left him in.

Because, obviously, Sirius didn't like him back. Sirius was quick to voice his thoughts and feelings; perhaps that was the sole reason why he went through ten different girls each year. He would've told Remus that he liked him that way a long time ago if it was true.

If it was true? _If_ it was true? The voice in his head became more persistent, so loud that it seemed to echo in his ears_. Of _course_ it's not true. Sirius Black would never love you. You know him better than that._ Remus sighed. No, he obviously didn't, or he wouldn't doubt himself so badly this way.

Finally, defeated, Remus pulled his knees to his chest and stared at the lake, desperately trying to let go of all the thoughts clouding his mind. _What's wrong with you, Remus? You're no coward. Go talk to the bleeding git and get everything straightened out._ But he couldn't bring himself to it, so he continued to sit there. And sit there. And sit there some more, until finally, he saw a shadow appear in the lake. Remus looked up to see Sirius looking at him, almost indecisively as he stuffed his hands in his jacket pocket.

"Can I sit here?" Remus realized that he had been simply gaping at Sirius, too scared to speak up. He nervously swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Oh. Yeah, of course." Sirius sighed and sat next to Remus, fixing his gaze on the rippling water. Remus decided that of all times this was the one to talk to Sirius.

"Sirius, I-" But Sirius wasn't listening. He started on his own train of thought.

"Let's just quickly spell this out before it gets too awkward. I love you, you love me, and we most _definitely_ cannot tell anyone, got it?"

"I- wait- huh?" Remus gaped at Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes and repeated what he had said, more slowly this time.

"I-" he pointed to himself, "love you." He then gestured to Remus. Before Sirius could continue, Remus put up his hand.

"I got it, mate. But- why did you never tell me?"

"Why did you never tell me?" Sirius demanded. Remus shrugged.

"I-I guess I didn't know?" Remus honestly didn't have a good answer for that question. Sirius huffed, but said nothing more. After a while, Remus began to feel slightly awkward. Here he was, sitting next to the man he loved, knowing for the first time that he loved him back, and they were doing nothing. They weren't even talking. They were just sitting there like complete idiots.

"Well... this is a bit... awkward," Sirius said sometime later.

"Mmhm." Remus couldn't think of anything better to say. Sirius laughed.

"Honestly, Moony, you're the most boring person I've ever met." Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Am I?"

"Most definitely. Good thing you've got me to liven you up."

"Rea- omph." Remus' retort was cut short by Sirius' lips jamming into his very hard. Sirius's lips forced Remus's into his teeth, cutting into his lip. He jerked away from Sirius and rubbed his lip, cursing under his breath. "Ow."

"Sorry," Sirius said. "Got a bit too excited there."

"Obviously," Remus said, wincing in pain.

"Is it bleeding?" Sirius asked, glancing over at Remus. Remus probed the aching flesh with his tongue.

"No," he verified a moment later.

"That's good."

They then fell into that awkward silence again. Thankfully, Sirius didn't attempt to snog Remus again. Of course, under other circumstances he wouldn't have minded, but his lip was still aching terribly, and he now wasn't in a snogging mood. He wanted nothing more than to go to bed.

"Remus?" Sirius asked.

"We've homework to finish," Remus said shortly, cutting off Sirius' next words. "Should get back up the castle."

"Um... OK." Sirius sounded rather surprised at Remus's words. "Let's go, then." Remus got to his feet immediately, while Sirius took his time skipping the rock that he had been holding in his hand before slowly heaving himself to his feet.

"Took you long enough," Remus grumbled, in a teasing sort of way. Sirius just grinned as he took Remus' hand and the two headed up the castle.

Remus was still slightly confused as Sirius slipped his hand into Remus's; he still couldn't comprehend the fact that the boy next to him... it made him happy.

"Blimey, where were you two?" James exclaimed as the two entered the common room. Sirius quickly let go of Remus' hand, much to his disappointment.

"Never mind that," Sirius said, waving his hand.

It was later that night, the four Marauders each in an armchair by the fire. They were laughing at some joke James had made, though admittedly Remus hadn't heard a word of it. He was just aware of the way Sirius' hand kept brushing against his.

"Hey, Moony and I have something to tell you," Sirius said suddenly, glancing over at Remus in a devious way.

"Oh, no way. We weren't going to-" Remus cut off suddenly as Sirius launched himself at Remus, completely mauling him as he jammed his lips into Remus'. Sirius acted with such enthusiasm that he completely knocked both him and Remus off of the armchair. The two went crashing to the floor. Remus was in complete bliss as he felt Sirius' arms around him, his fingers tugging at his hair. The snog went on for a good minute before Sirius finally gave Remus a chance to breathe.

"What happened to not telling anyone?" Remus gasped as James roared with laughter in the background.

"I don't care who knows we're together; I couldn't wait any longer," Sirius said, grinning as he propped himself up with his elbows, staring into Remus' eyes.

**Sorry it's so short! I wanted a chapter dedicaded to them confessing. Also, I've decided to add an extra chapter between this one and the next, so it might take a couple of days to get it up. Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Sirius untangled himself from Remus and helped his boyfriend to his feet. James was crying from laughter, doubled over and clutching his sides. Peter watched the whole scene with a slightly confused, and surprised, look on his face. Remus laughed to himself at his friends' reactions. James was now coughing, he was laughing so hard. Sirius went to James's side and patted his back.

"Alright there, Prongs?" he asked, sounding amused. James coughed one last time before wiping the remaining tears from his eyes and straightening up.

"Fine," he choked out. "Bloody brilliant." Peter frowned, eyes darting between Remus and Sirius. A moment later he lifted up his arm slowly, pointing at his two friends.

"So..." he said slowly, as if trying to assess the situation, "so, you two are... what? Together now?" That only sent James into laughter once more.

"Nah, Wormtail, of course not," Remus said sarcastically. "We just snog each other for the fun of it." Peter dropped his arm and stared at the ground for a moment more.

"I believe we have frightened our young friend Wormtail here," Sirius said, winking at Remus.

"Not frightened," Peter said hastily. "Just surprised, that's all."

"Mhmm." Sirius raised his eyebrows before turning back to James, demanding, "What's so funny?" James wiped a tear from his eye.

"Nothing. Yeah, everything's fine. Just wasn't expecting that."

Remus, eager to avoid the rather awkward situation, glanced down at his invisible watch. "Class is starting soon. We should go."

* * *

That night, in the Common Room, the five of them sat around the fire, lazily doing homework.

"Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Hmm?"

"Moony, look at me."

Remus looked up. "What?" Sirius grinned.

"Hey, you're sexy, you know?"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks."

"And hey, no, look back at me. Look it-look at your eyes, and your hair, and the way your face looks-God, you're sexy."

"Not now," Remus muttered, feeling his face go red.

"No-but isn't he, guys?" James looked up.

"Oh, yeah. I'm so horny right now."

"Yeah, me too," Sirius sighed. Remus rolled his eyes and returned to his work. A moment later Sirius was at it again.

"Hey. Hey, Moony." He tried his best to ignore him.

"Hey, Moony, come here."

"Come here? I'm two feet away from you!"

"No, like _here _here. C'mere."

"Dude, if you're seriously going to act like this, we should just go up to the dorms and bang each other." Sirius' face brightened. Remus facepalmed.

"No! No, that's not what I meant."

"Then c'mere."

"I'm doing _homework._"

"Just go, you prat," James called from the other armchair. Remus heaved a sigh and set his things down. Glancing around awkwardly at everyone, he settled himself next to Sirius on the armchair. Sirius sighed and snuggled his face down in Remus' neck.

"Hey, stop! That tickles!"

"Oh, it does, does it?" Sirius mumbled into his neck.

"Yeah, stop," Remus said, squirming. Sirius just laughed and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist.

"I've been waiting to do this _forever,_" he mumbled lazily into Remus. "You know, snuggle with you. But God, Moony, you're small." Remus felt Sirius poke his ribs. "Seriously. You need to go eat like ten pounds of food."

"Uh, yeah. Just go to sleep, Pads, you're loopy when you're tired."

"Am I?" Sirius lifted his head up and kissed Remus on the nose. Remus squirmed slightly. _It should be a crime to feel this happy, _he thought.

"And I need to do homework."

"Just do homework here. Don't move."

Awkwardly, Remus balanced his textbook in his lap, slapping a piece of parchment down next to it. He had trouble concentrating; it was hard to not get distracted when Sirius was practically molesting him.

"What'ser problem?" he asked. "Why so touchy-feely?"

"Oh God, Moony, don't you know how long I've waited. Shut up and quite complaining. Though, I must admit, you do look quite cute when you do."

"_Sirius!_"

Sirius just grinned into him. Moments later he was asleep.

**Ah, I just had to add some fluff to this chapter, it was hard to resist :) Reviews, please? :D **

**Also, I apologize for it being so short.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Despite Remus's wishes to turn back time, the full moon was drawing closer and closer. With each passing day, anxiety dug its way deeper into his chest. Of course, these feelings were acknowledged every month, seeing as not one passed by without the turn of events. The awkward questions of where he was every full moon, why he was always sick, why he couldn't make a better attempt to clean himself up, why he was so secretive about his life...

It wasn't his fault, so why must everyone act like it was? The hostile glances he got in the hallway, the pity in everyone's eyes as they looked at him, it was almost unbearable. The only thing that kept him from exploding was the encouragement he got from the other Marauders.

"Ignore it, Moony. If they knew what was really going on, they wouldn't treat you half as bad as they do now." Remus shook his head grimly at Sirius' words.

"Actually, I think they'd treat me worse. You know how everyone feels about werewolves. They despise them. We should be grateful Professor Dumbledore allowed me into this school."

"Don't talk like that, Moony. Everything's going to be okay." He gave Remus's hand a squeeze and led him down to breakfast. Remus tried his best to tuck his cloak firmly around him as to hide his battered, and slightly torn, robes. They were his older brother's; the Lupin family couldn't afford to buy their children new school robes every year. Most everything was passed down.

The anxiety really began to build up as the day of the full moon dawned. Remus was feeling particularly sick, yet he refused to spend the day in the Hospital Wing and insisted on attending classes as usual. Lily performed some spells to help lessen the bags underneath his eyes and draw out the fullness in his cheeks.

"I think that's all I can do at the moment," Lily sighed ten minutes later, leaning back to inspect Remus' face. "Of course, you still look slightly sick, but it's not nearly as bad as it was."

"But it's still noticeable?" Remus asked.

"There's nothing I can do to make it not," Lily said. "Besides, everyone gets sick every once in a while."

"Not like I do," Remus said sullenly.

"Don't complain," Lily told him sternly. "And if you want to make it to class on time I suggest you start getting ready."

At that moment, James exited the boy's dormitory looking extremely tired. He emitted a loud yawn and made his way over to the two of them.

"Morning, Evans," he said to Lily.

"Lily," Remus reminded him rather impatiently. James ignored Remus's comment.

"What are you two doing?"

"I've been performing some spells on his face-"

"You've been what?" The three of them turned around to see Sirius standing at the bottom of the stairs looking amused. "'Performing spells on his face?' Blimey, Lily, what's wrong with it now?"

"Nothing," Lily said sharply. "Just trying to cover up the fact that he's sick."

"If you're sick then you should stay in the Hospital Wing," Sirius said as he kissed Remus and sat down next to the three of them. "I dunno why you're passing up an opportunity to skip classes."

"It's just homework to make up," Remus said. "I'd rather go to class." He didn't want to admit that the real reason why he was attending classes was because he wanted something to take his mind off of tonight. He'd thought that after experiencing the change every month, year after year, the horror of it all would dull, but it only worried him more because he knew what was coming.

"You're impossible," Sirius scoffed. "Where's Peter?"

"He's already gone down to breakfast," Lily informed him. "And we should, too, if we don't want to miss class."

"I'm starving," Sirius yawned, standing up and taking Remus's hand as the four climbed out of the portrait hole.

"C'mon, Remus, eat something," Sirius coaxed Remus as the four sat at breakfast, ten minutes later. "You need to keep your strength up."

"Not hungry," Remus muttered, playing with his toast. It was true; he had next to no appetite.

"Eat anyways," Sirius said forcefully, grabbing the toast from Remus' hands and shoving it in his mouth. "Open and chew." Remus had no choice but to open his mouth as the toast jammed against his lips, and despite the fact that the bread tasted like cardboard, he obediently chewed it and swallowed it, staring at the remaining crumbs distastefully.

"You two should head off to class," Lily chided, standing up and swinging her bag over her shoulder. "Gonna be late."

"I swear, that's all you ever say to us," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"Only because it's true," she said, straightening her robes and heading off in the opposite direction. James watched her leave, eyes glassy as always when he watching Lily.

"Get up," Remus said, elbowing James. "Let's head to class."

The day seemed to pass by in a blur. Remus was able to hold onto what each lesson was teaching, yet the details, as always at the full moon, trickled from his brain and left him slightly confused. He found himself taking more notes than usual, trying to notice every detail and not forget everything within the next five minutes.

He always found this particularly frustrating when trying to finish homework. Always having to refer to his notes and rifle through books...it slowed up the process. Of course, with Sirius and James pestering him to let them see his essays, it just doubled the stress. He didn't want to have another detention because of copying.

"Do your own work!" Remus said, slamming his hand down on the table when Sirius asked him for his Transfiguration essay. "I can't do everything for you." Sirius, looking slightly wounded, leaned away from Remus, rolling his eyes and muttering in an undertone, "Fine."

That only made Remus irritated because Sirius knew how hard everything was on him. Glaring at Sirius' back, he averted his gaze and told himself sternly_, Don't pester yourself about it; you can't help it if Sirius is a git. That's his problem._ When Sirius continued to give him a cold shoulder, however, Remus decided that it was too far.

"What's your problem?" he asked twenty minutes later, close to the end of their free period.

"Nothing's the problem," Sirius sniffed. "I'm just fine."

"No, you're not," Remus said. "Don't get mad at me just because I won't let you copy off of my Transfiguration essay."

"I'm not!" It didn't sound like that to Remus.

"Then what are you worked up about, for Merlin's sake! What did I do?"

"Why do you always assume the problem's you?" Sirius asked coldly, turning his back to Remus.

"Oh, I dunno, maybe because you act like it?" Remus asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"No, you're just making assumptions. I do not act like it's your fault. I never have."

"Excuse me, then," Remus snapped, turning back to his own work.

"Never mind," Sirius huffed. Remus decided to not pursue the subject; Sirius just wasn't worth it.

However, when dinner rolled around and Sirius was still acting cold to him, he decided that Sirius was worth it and that he needed to figure out what was wrong with the prat. He was surprised when Sirius asked him if he could speak to him privately.

"Decided to apologize?" Remus asked.

"Apologize? What for? You should be the one to apologize!"

"Oh ho! Earlier you told me it wasn't my fault. Now you're telling me it is. Make up your bloody mind." Sirius considered him for a moment before pulling him into a rather fierce kiss. Moments later, he pulled away.

"What was that for?" Remus asked, though his tone was slightly softer. Sirius looked at him with sad eyes.

"I've made up my mind," he said simply. "I'm sorry, I thought it was real. I thought I loved you." As he turned to walk away, Remus grabbed his arm and pulled him back to face him.

"What?" he asked, slightly stunned.

"You heard me the first time. I thought I loved you, but I don't, and now you're just making it so damn hard to let you go. That's why I was angry. Sorry."

Then he turned away and disappeared into the crowd.

**Eugh, sorry guys that it was so rushed, but the past few chapters have been more of a prologue; we have yet to delve into the actual storyline.**

**I'd like to thank all my reviewers! There were so much! You guys are great!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Remus' POV

Remus woke with a start the next day. It was still dark out, and rain slammed against the window by his bed. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, sinking back into his pillows. He make no attempt to go back to sleep, knowing that the effort would be fruitless and that he should make use of the time by finishing up his homework. _Just one more moment..._ he thought_. I'm so tired..._

However, he sat up, leaning over and digging through the contents of his trunk, extracting a clean pair of pants and a shirt. Ten minutes later, fully dressed and as awake as he would ever be, he headed down to the common room. He started the fire back up again, settling himself into an armchair near it and propping his Transfiguration book open. Trying to clear his head by shaking it roughly, he grabbed his roll of parchment and dipped his quill into his ink bottle. He put his quill to his parchment and consulted the book. After finding that he could read nothing, he finally snapped his book shut and set his things aside, closing his eyes. Just when he thought that he would be able to catch more sleep, he heard the door to the boys' dormitory open and close. Opening his eyes, Remus watched Sirius sit on the armchair next to his.

"You couldn't sleep, either?" It was a simple question, yet it infuriated Remus. Of _course_ he couldn't sleep. Ever since the breakup with Sirius he hadn't been able to sleep correctly. It was in that sense that Remus ignored him and set his eyes on the fire, trying to not let the bright dancing flames blind him.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked this question a bit louder than the one before.

"I can hear you just fine," Remus said, voice slightly cold. He didn't bother to answer Sirius' question.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not." Remus knew that he was being slightly immature about the whole thing, but he was in no mood to talk to Sirius. He tore his eyes away from the fire, the flames starting to give him a headache.

"What's wrong, then?"

Remus sighed and pressed his palms to his face. He couldn't believe how ignorant Sirius was being. "It's not you." That, of course, was a complete lie. It was his entire fault.

"Must just be the fact that it's so close to the full moon," Sirius said. "That must be it."

"Must be," Remus said quietly, glad that Sirius wasn't pressing the subject.

"Do you think it's late enough for me to head down to breakfast?"

"Dunno." The two lapsed back into silence. Remus couldn't believe how much the mood had changed between him and Sirius in the past couple of months. Remus tried his best to act normally around Sirius when in the company of others, but when it was just him and Sirius, he made absolutely no effort to talk to him. He found that giving short, meaningless answers helped him from bursting all of his frustration on Sirius. That way he talked less, and was less likely to start ranting. Things tended to take a nosedive when that happened.

"Remus." Remus looked up, startled. He couldn't remember the last time that Sirius had called him anything besides Moony. And _love_, but Remus chose to not think about that. Knowing that it was best if he didn't say anything, Remus remained silent. He instead fixed his eyes on him. "Just want you to know that whatever happens, I'm here for you." Sirius then gave Remus a sad smile and headed down to breakfast.

Sirius' POV

Sirius met Mary down at breakfast. He had finished eating long before, but had decided he'd wait for Mary rather than head back upstairs and tackle more homework. He found that the girl helped keep his mind off of things. Her kisses were rather like a drug, erasing all of Sirius' problems from his brain.

"Morning, love," he said, giving Mary a quick kiss as she sat down next to him, taking a few pieces of toast.

"Just woke," she grumbled as she grabbed the bowl of jam. "I've been planning to wake up early and use that time to do some homework, but obviously that didn't work out."

"I've been up since five," Sirius said, watching Mary eat. "Didn't do any homework, though."

"What did you do? Wait, let me rephrase that question: What_ is_ there to do?"

"Moony was up and I talked to him for a bit." He hoped his tone was enough to prevent Mary from pushing the subject further. He didn't want to recount the awkward conversation he and Remus had shared. Or the fact that he had been a complete git.

"Mm." Mary said nothing more and returned to her toast.

"I broke up with him," Sirius said blandly.

"I know."

"Then why do you act like that every time I mention him?"

"I don't." Sirius felt frustrated by the answers he was getting, by both Mary and Remus. It was because of that that he gave a huff of indignation and stared moodily at the table, waiting until Mary was done with her toast. He then led her to her class and left for his own.

Later that afternoon, during Sirius's free period, he, Remus, and Peter were in the common room, working on homework yet again. Sirius felt like each day was a repeat: wake up, do homework, eat food, do more homework, and then turn in for another sleepless night. It was in that sense that Sirius was having a difficult time grasping what he was reading, redoing sentences multiple times, and watching the words in the book float off the pages.

Finally, fed up with the frustration of working on the exact same essay for the past half hour, Sirius slammed his book shut and walked across the common room, climbing through the portrait hole and heading for the grounds. It was mainly deserted, but Sirius was glad for the solitude it offered. Even though there was rarely conversation in the common room, the scratching of quills and the shuffling of parchment could constantly be heard, nearly driving Sirius insane.

Without really watching where he was going, he found himself by the lake, near the same spot he and Remus had sat when Sirius had confessed his love to him. He smiled sadly as he thought of the memory. Everything had seemed so simple, so straightforward...

And then he had to ruin it by breaking up with Remus and sending both of their lives into a living Hell. To that day, Sirius still didn't know why he decided to end his and Remus' relationship. It would've made everything a lot easier if he hadn't been a complete git. But what was done was done, and Sirius knew there was no taking it back. He had already done the damage, and then, just because he could, he cut it even deeper by going out with basically every girl in the school. He hoped, each time, that they would make him feel something different, similar to what he felt for Remus, and yet, each time he came back disappointed. Even Mary, who had once held his heart so firmly, had lost her effect on him. He found her more and more annoying than before, overreacting to everything that Sirius did, and diving for his attention all the time. He felt trapped with Mary. He wanted to feel the freedom he had when he was with Remus, and he wanted everything to be alright between them.

He wanted Remus to love him again.

Pulling his knees to his chest, he watched the smooth ripples of the lake. Sirius knew that class was bound to start soon, but he had no desire to return back to the squished common room. He wanted to stay here forever, where no one could bother him.

However, moments later, the bell went off. Instead of standing up and heading to class like a good boy, he stayed where he was. He was in no mood to go to class. Especially one that he shared with Mary. Because he knew that he would have to dump her; the mixed feelings he was developing about her were clouding their relationship. And yet, now was better than never...

Making up his mind, Sirius stood up and walked across the grounds, taking his time, not minding that he was going to be late for class. He had made it to the common room when the final bell went off, signaling that he was now officially late for class. He let out a deep breath and gathered his things, slowly sauntering off to Defense against the Dart Arts.

"You're late," Professor Roons said sharply as Sirius entered the classroom.

"I'm aware," Sirius said, surprised to find his tone void of any emotion. He noticed Mary sitting near the back of the classroom, watching him with a curious expression on his face. He then realized that he would have to explain why he was late and give a full apology to her. He shook his head and took the seat next to her.

"Where were you?" she whispered as Professor Roons instructed them to take out their books and turn to page 47.

"Now, can anyone remember what the names and incantations of the spells mentioned are?" Sirius waited until Professor Roons asked his question before he turned to Mary.

"Got caught up in the time," he whispered back. "Didn't realize the bell had rung." Mary raised her eyebrows but said nothing more. Sirius narrowed his eyes and paid attention to the lesson, for once. Mary's actions had made the decision for him. He had no more reason to explain his actions to her.

Sirius patiently waited for the class to end, packing his things back in his bag before turning to Mary.

"We've got to talk," he told her, standing up and walking swiftly out of the classroom before Mary could ask questions. She followed close on his tail, demanding to know what was going on.

"Listen, Mary," Sirius started, but he was cut off by her.

"Oh, no, that's fine," she said.

"What?" Sirius asked blankly.

"Isn't it _obvious_ that you're breaking up with me?"

"Huh?"

"Sirius, honey, you've broken up with every girl in the school. Don't tell me that I don't know when you're breaking up with somebody when I see it."

"Well..." Sirius trailed off. "OK then. See you later, Mary." He then turned around and hurried down the hall, surprised by how easy that was. Sure, it was true, he had broken up with a lot of girls, and he had gotten quite used to their reactions, but somehow he thought that maybe Mary would act different. That she would refuse to speak to Sirius ever again. That she would punch him (that had happened on numerous occasions, but Mary was known for delivering a hard punch), or, even worse, that she would accuse Sirius of breaking up with Mary only because he wanted to get back together with Remus. Which, he told himself, was not true. At all.

No, he did it because it would finally get rid of Mary and give him something else to think about. Once the news spread around that, he, Sirius Black, was single, the girls would nearly wet themselves with excitement, fawning over him until he was single no more.

So, he now had to find some other girl that he hadn't gone out with. He racked his brains, thinking of who that could be. Finally, tired of thinking, he shook his head and hurried back to the common room, Defense Against the Dark Arts being his last class of the day. Just as he was rounding the corner, he rammed right into someone. The person he ran into fell over and skidded across the ground.

"Sorry," Sirius said gruffly, going to brush past. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a flash of dark brown hair and light blue. He turned around to see who he ran into. A girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen, was pulling herself to her feet. His first impression of her was that she was beautiful; short, dark brown hair and big, blue eyes.

"Here- let me help you up," Sirius said, offering her a hand. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." The girl grabbed his hand and he pulled her to her feet.

"It's alright," she said. "Me and my clumsy self, it was my fault."

"Rubbish," Sirius said. "May I know your name?"

"Samantha- Samantha Rummings," Samantha said and she straightened her robes and slung her bag over her shoulder. "You?"

"Sirius Black," Sirius said, prepared for the reaction of Samantha knowing who he was. Instead, she stood there for a moment, staring into space.

"Sirius Black... doesn't ring a bell," she said. "But I've heard it from somewhere, I know I have."

"Must be the surname," Sirius said. "Black, we're a pureblood family." Samantha snapped her fingers.

"That must be it," she said. "Sorry to keep you." She then turned around to leave.

"Wait," Sirius said, grabbing her arm. "Which is your house?"

Samantha smiled. "Slytherin," she said. "Let me guess yours... Ravenclaw?"

Sirius shook his head while his heart sank. _Slytherin...? _"Gryffindor."

"Ah," she said. "That would've been my second guess."

"What made you think Ravenclaw?" Sirius asked.

"You seem smart," Samantha said, winking at Sirius. "See you around. It's... Sirius, right?"

"Right on," Sirius said. "Alright, then. Have a good night."

"You too," Samantha said, smiling at Sirius before turning around and leaving. Sirius stopped for a moment, watching her hair bounce slightly and her hips swing from side to side... His heart fluttered a moment as she rounded the corner. _Cut it out,_ he told himself firmly. _She's in_ Slytherin, _for Merlin's sake._ However, as he hurried back the Gryffindor tower, he couldn't get her out of his mind. He shook his head, trying to clear it.

He climbed through the portrait hole. "Hullo," he called to James, making a beeline for him.

"What kept you?" James asked as Sirius pulled up a chair.

"Nothing," Sirius said.

"Sure," James muttered, returning to his Astronomy chart. "Sure, it's nothing."

"It is not," Peter scoffed. "Sirius met another girl." Sirius' face went hot.

"Did not!"

"Mhmm. You're blushing." Sirius clapped his hands to his face, desperately trying to hide the rouge creeping up in his cheeks. He glanced over at Remus, who was tucked in an armchair by the fire, ignoring Sirius entirely. Sirius narrowed his eyes and said in a carrying voice,

"Oh, alright. I met a girl on my way up. Prongs, she was beautiful, more so than Mary."

"Lily?" James had finally gotten into the habit of referring to Lily as Lily instead of as Evans. Sirius shrugged.

"You're the judge of that, mate."

"What'ser name?"

"Samantha Rummings."

"House?"

"Slytherin." James groaned.

"Bad luck."

Sirius nodded and glanced back in Remus' direction, hoping that he was hearing the conversation clearly. Suddenly, he added, "Don't matter, though. I'm gonna find her tomorrow."

"Slytherin. C'mon, Padfoot, you're losing your touch."

"Must be," Sirius said. A couple of months ago, he never would've done something to hurt one of his friends on purpose...but now, it seemed like he had to.

**I'm sorry it took me forever to update, I've been gone since Saturday. Enjoy!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Remus' POV

Remus turned around to glance at Sirius from his perch in his armchair. Thankfully, the other wasn't watching him, and yet, a couple of seconds ago, he had felt his eyes on the back of his head. Remus narrowed his eyes and returned to his homework. Confused feelings and frustrated thoughts swam around inside, but he pushed them away impatiently. No more time worrying over Sirius. He was going to get over it. He was going to act his age. And he didn't care if Sirius decided to do anything to hurt him, because, he told himself, it wasn't going to hurt him. He wasn't going to be affected by Sirius any longer.

Those thoughts helped calm Remus down as he returned to his homework. He smiled a bit, feeling better instantly.

After finishing the essay up, he tucked it neatly in his bag and grabbed his other book, opening it and smoothing out the page he was supposed to be studying. In no time he had the page basically memorized.

Remus sped through his homework easily, something that he hadn't accomplished in a long time. Before long, when he reached to grab another book, another essay, some form of homework, he found that he had finished his whole entire pile of work in one sitting. Remus was unsure as to why he was in a good mood, but he decided he wouldn't worry himself about it. Yawning, he packed his things away and headed off to his boys dormitory, where, for the first time in nearly a year, he slept soundly.

Remus was woken by raised voices. He lifted his head up, blinking away sleep. However, when he found that everyone else was still asleep, he decided that the commotion that had woken him was merely a figment of his imagination. Remus dressed quickly and headed down to the common room. It was a Saturday, nearly a week away from the seventh years' N.E.W.T's. Even though it was nearly ten o'clock, the room was nearly empty. Only James and Lily were to be seen, standing in front of the fire and glaring at each other. Lily had her hands on her hips and James was watching her with an impatient look on his face. Not eager to find out how James had annoyed Lily again, he said loudly, "Morning."

Lily dropped her stance immediately. "Morning, Remus," she said cheerfully. "Sorry about that. James was just acting younger than he is, again."

"Is that so?" Remus yawned while James sputtered.

"That's not fair- I wasn't- Lily- completely missing the point..." he finally dropped his sentence after failing to form a coherent thought.

"Oh, give it up, James," Lily spat. "I'm going down to breakfast." James looked at Remus with a helpless look on his face as Lily stormed from the room.

"What'd you do this time?" Remus asked.

"Nothing! I was doing nothing at all! All I did was ask Lily if I could take a peek at her Potions essay..."

Remus shook his head. "Thought you knew better, Prongs."

"Not my fault that she has to overreact about everything... girls are so confusing..."

"I'd apologize to her, and quickly," Remus advised. "Don't want whatever friendship you two had gained to go down the drain, do you?"

"'Course not," James replied feverishly. "She's barking mad, that woman! About everything I say sets her off!"

"I'd be more careful" was all Remus managed before Sirius emerged from the boy's dormitory.

"Wuzzgoinon?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes and stretching.

"Nothing," James said. "Nothing."

Remus froze. He remembered what he had promised himself the day before. He wouldn't be affected by Sirius anymore. "I...uh-" he started before ending his sentence abruptly. Ducking his head, he muttered rather quickly and quietly, "I'm going to breakfast." He then spun on his heel and hurried from the room as quickly as he could.

He found Zach down at the breakfast table. "Morning," he said. Zach turned to glance at him.

"Hey," he said, "haven't talked to you in a while."

"Same here," Remus said. He had been rather like a dorm mouse for the past couple of months; with the worries of homework and Sirius taking over his life, he'd ended up barely talking to anybody. "How're you doing?" It was a simple and pathetic question, Remus was aware.

Zach laughed. "As well as the rest of the seventh years are doing. Ready to be done with school, the homework is killing me."

"Exams are in a week," Remus said as he buttered a piece of toast. "Think you're ready?"

"Only time will tell," Zach sighed. Remus quietly agreed. Time was usually the best of judges.

Sirius' POV

As promised, Sirius watched hopefully for Samantha that morning. His gazed remained glued at the Slytherin table, although he didn't catch the familiar dark brown hair amongst the group of students.

"Bad luck," James commented. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Yeah, maybe," Sirius said faintly, although he wasn't really paying attention. Where is she? He asked himself. She said she was in Slytherin, right? Yeah, that was one thing he was certain of. She was in Slytherin, and she was nowhere to be seen.

"Give it up," James groaned as the two sat down for breakfast. "Maybe she's still sleeping or something. Late riser."

"Maybe," Sirius agreed faintly, although, again, he was only agreeing with James to please him.

"She's gotta be around here somewhere."

"And undoubtedly she is. Now move your butt and quit gaping like an idiot; people are starting to stare."

"I am not gaping like an idiot-" Sirius started hotly, before realizing that he indeed was. "Well, you know, I wasn't meaning to..."

"We have all day," James said. "She'll turn up somehow."

"She'd better," Sirius muttered, noticing Remus sitting at by Zach. Remus was the whole reason he was doing this, wasn't he?

"Morning, Padfoot," Remus said, his voice betraying no emotion. Sirius narrowed his eyes at him. What was he playing at?"

"What're we going to do today?" Peter asked, leaning into the group of boys. He was completely oblivious towards the coldness between Sirius and Remus.

"Study, that's what we should be doing," Remus said, finishing up his toast. "Exams are in a week..."

"Must you constantly remind us?" Sirius snapped. Remus glanced at Sirius, looking surprised.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing," Sirius replied in a clipped tone. "Nothing at all." Remus just raised his eyebrows and returned to his breakfast. Sirius realized that he wasn't fooling anybody; a couple of mornings ago Remus had pulled that exact thing on him. He'd remembered how annoyed it had made him, and he smirked into his food.

"Oh, give it up," Zach said, looking exasperated. "You two have been fighting for... what? Months now? Blimey, it's almost June!"

"So we've found," Sirius said. "Listen, I gotta go. You know, meet Samantha." He sent a look in Remus' direction to see what his reaction would be. He just gave Sirius a half smile and said, "Have fun."

Remus' POV

Remus could almost laugh to himself. It was quite obvious that Sirius was trying to get something from him; under normal circumstances he wouldn't act this cold. It just wasn't him.

However, he reminded himself, what Sirius chose to do was none of his business any longer. He had vowed to not be affected by him. And he wouldn't be.

"I'm going back up to the common room," he informed everyone. "Anyone coming with me?" Zach sighed.

"Suppose I should. Haven't studied properly in a while."

"We'll test each other," Remus suggested. Zach nodded as Remus got up from the table. Zach followed his suit. The two wandered to the Gryffindor tower without a word in passing. Remus was too confused and amused by the current situation to possibly come up with anything to say.

Turned out, Zach was a pleasant person to study with. He stayed on track, corrected Remus when he gave the wrong answer, and seemed genuinely interested in what they were studying for. Zach really was a pleasant person to be around; why hadn't he talked to him before?

"Listen, I got to make a stop by the library," Zach said. "I've lost one of my textbooks, so I need to check one out."

"Alright," Remus said, leaning back in his chair. He supposed he'd take a well-earned break from his work for a moment. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

He wasn't quite sure what'd possessed him to, but he found himself climbing from the portrait hole and wandering down the hall. What he was looking for, he wasn't quite sure, but he didn't want to have to be cooped up in the common room any longer. Promising himself he'd apologize to Zach later, he found himself out on the grounds by the lake. By the place where Sirius had confessed his love to him. He sat down on the spot, closing his eyes and remembering the memory.

_"Let's just quickly spell this out before it gets too awkward. I love you, you love me, and we most definitely cannot tell anyone, got it?"_

_"I- wait- huh?" Remus gaped at Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes and repeated what he had said more slowly this time._

_"I-" he pointed to himself, "love you." He then gestured to Remus. Before Sirius could continue, Remus put up his hand._

_"I got it, mate. But- why did you never tell me?"_

_"Why did you never tell me?" Sirius demanded. Remus shrugged._

_"I-I guess I didn't know?" Remus honestly didn't have a good answer for that question. Sirius huffed, but said nothing more. After a while, Remus began to feel slightly awkward. Here he was, sitting next to the man he loved, knowing for the first time that he loved him back, and they were doing nothing. They weren't even talking. They were just sitting there like complete idiots._

Remus shook his head. Why couldn't things be like that still? Why did things have to go wrong? He desperately wished that he could come up with an answer for those questions, but they hurt his head every time he thought about them. About how things used to be.

And, though he didn't want to admit it, he still had feelings for Sirius. However minute, however small, they were still there, forced down deep inside of him. He hadn't thought about what he felt for Sirius in a long time. Given the past events, he shouldn't have felt that way. Sirius was trying to abuse him. Hurt him even further. And yet, it wasn't working. Remus wasn't the master of feelings, but he could tell that it was straining Sirius to do so.

Which brought him to his next question. Why had Sirius broken up with him? If he didn't love him, then why did he go out with him in the first place? Remus shook his head, yet again, at lost for an answer.

It was right then and there that he realized what was still bothering him. He wanted answers.

Sirius' POV

"Hey- hey, Samantha! HEY!" He had found her, finally found her, after hours and hours of searching. There she was, exiting the library with a couple of books cradled in her arms. She spun around, looking at him.

"Er- do I know you?" she said, sounding confused. Sirius' heart fell.

"Um, yeah. Remember me? Sirius Black?" A look of recognition fell across her face.

"Oh, I remember now! Sorry, I didn't recognize you at first."

"No, no, it's perfectly fine," Sirius assured her, although he was a little upset. She didn't remember him?

"What are you doing?" he asked. Samantha gestured to her books.

"Studying," she groaned. "I don't feel ready for the exams." Sirius shook his head.

"Neither do I. Er- would you like study together?" Samantha's face fell.

"Oh... um, I'm sorry, I already have a study partner."

"Oh?" Sirius asked, feeling more and more like a fool by the minute.

"Um, yeah. Maybe a different time?"

"Maybe," Sirius echoed faintly.

"Er, I gotta go, he's waiting for me. Bye, Sirius," Samantha said, smiling as she brushed past him and hurried down the hall. He? Sirius thought to himself. _He?_ Why hadn't he thought of that before? Of course someone as perfect as her would already be taken! Who was he to think that she was fair game? She was Slytherin, for Merlin's sake! It wouldn't work out.

Sirius leaned against the wall, groaning inwardly. Suddenly, his eyes shot open. Remus! He had only been doing this to hurt him! And now that it wouldn't work... should he apologize? What should he do? Act like it didn't happen?

Sirius was twisted up in a very complicated knot.

Then again, maybe it wouldn't be the best idea. It was, Sirius reminded himself, days away from the full moon. Remus was known to be particularly moody during that time. Sirius shook his head. No, it wouldn't be a good idea.

Sighing, he supposed that he'd better head up to the common room and get studying. That's where everyone else was, and that's where he should be, too. But no, he was wandering the halls like a complete prat chasing after a girl that was out of reach. He was pathetic.

He turned to hurry down the hall, hoping that James would be willing to study with him. He was complete rubbish on his own.

As he was climbing up the Grand Staircase, he heard someone else thundering behind him. He turned around to see Remus.

"Padfoot!" he panted. "Padfoot, wait up!"

"What?" Sirius asked, trying to keep a scathing note from creeping up in his voice.

"Padfoot, we've got to talk."

**Not a lot to say on this chapter :U Thanks to all my reviewers/readers! **


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Sirius' POV

He wasn't quite sure what made him say it, but Sirius found himself refusing Remus' request. "Er, I'm busy, maybe later." He turned around to leave, but Remus stopped him.

"No, no running away anymore. We've got to talk."

"Talk? What's there to talk about?" Sirius found his voice raising. He knew that whatever words he and Remus would share wouldn't make anything better. If any, it would make it worse.

"Don't even try that, Sirius. I'm tired of living life like this. I'm tired of it all."

"Oh, tired, are you? What position are you in to make that statement? You think you've got the worse of it? Think again. Think. Again." With that Sirius whipped around on his heels, hurrying as quickly as he could up the stairs, almost forgetting the trick stair.

When he reached the common room, he shut himself in the dormitory, laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, nearly shaking with anger. He was so confused. He didn't know what he was supposed to do; he felt so... _bad_ for Remus.

A moment later the door opened once again, Remus entering. He went straight to his bed, shuffling through his trunk and starting on some homework. Sirius knew he should've been working also, but he was too mad to be capable of concentrating.

"Why are you in here?" Remus asked a moment later. Sirius glanced around at the other beds; surely he wasn't talking to him. But they were the only two in there.

"What do you mean?" His voice came out rougher than intended. Remus looked up.

"You're mad at me."

"And?"

Remus sighed and turned to look at him. Sirius flinched. "You should've known that I'd still persist."

"There's nothing really to discuss-"

Remus let out a laugh. "There's plenty to discuss. So, what is it that's bothering you? Lay it all out on the table."

Sirius just stared blankly at Remus. It was true; he didn't know what there was to discuss, but he certainly didn't expect that. Why would Remus care what was bothering him? He was silent for what must've been five minutes straight. Yeah, he was being stupid, yeah, he was being stubborn, but what was he supposed to say? "I shouldn't have broken up with you and I'd like if we got back together?" No. That would sound stupid. And that wasn't even it. Sirius opened his mouth, intending to throw a curve ball by asking what was bothering him, but the words that came out were completely unexpected.

"I'm sorry. I feel bad for what I did. I don't know why I did it. I- every time I see you, it makes me mad. Because you make me feel and act like an idiot. And I hate it. I don't know what's going on- maybe it's too rushed?" His words came out in a jumble and he finished with his face slightly red. Remus sighed and shut his book.

"I don't know what to say to that," he said. "But we need to fix it. At the rate we're going, we won't be friends by the end of the year."

"What can we do to fix it?" Sirius asked helplessly. "I'm so confused... I don't know what to do."

"Neither do I."

Sirius shrugged and glared at the floor. "I... I have something to tell you," he said hesitantly. He wasn't sure if the confession he was about to make would make everything better or worse. He sure hoped it would make it better. "You remember Samantha? And Mary? Um." He ended lamely there, not sure how to phrase it. Remus just watched him expectantly. He took a deep breath and said as quickly as he could, "I started going out with Mary again to get my mind off of you. But that didn't work, and then I found Samantha, and I actually felt something for her, and I was so excited, because I didn't want to love you..." He ended there, realizing how rude it sounded. He waited, slightly scared, for Remus' reaction. Remus just stared at the floor, eyes hard.

"No, I get it," he said quietly, gaze flipping up to him. "You were embarrassed to be with me. No, that's all good. I was just hoping... I've been waiting forever to get you, and then I got you, but I lost you. And now you're saying that you don't want to love me."

"No... no... that's not what I meant," Sirius moaned. "That's not what I meant at all."

Remus cut across him, voice rough. "Then what did you mean? I've been trying to figure out your motives since day one, and you know what, it's been tearing my life apart, you have. You're not making anything better."

"Maybe I'm not trying to make anything better!" Sirius replied hotly, although it didn't make much sense.

"Then what are you trying to do?" Remus said quietly. "Hurt me even further?"

"No." Sirius looked down at his legs, feeling like a complete idiot. This is why he didn't talk about his feelings.

And as soon as Sirius looked down, Remus attacked.

Remus' POV

He wasn't aware of what was happening. Sirius had just made him so mad... and, without being able to help himself, fur started to sprout, fangs began to grow, and his mind started to fuzz. Before long, there was only one word he was able to comprehend: _Kill_.

He leaped forward, claws dragging down Sirius' flesh. His screams hardly affected Remus; in fact, they seemed to fuel him more. Pain, that was what he wanted to inflict. This... this thing in front of him, it was nothing, it was worthless. In fact, he was sure it tasted good. Very good. He clenched his teeth down on Sirius' arm, not hard enough to break the flesh, but enough so the taste of him could seep into his mouth. He released, staring down at the human with relish. Food... he thought. Tasty... hungry...

Just as he lunged, something sharp hit him in the back and he fell to the ground.

Sirius' POV

Sirius woke in an unfamiliar bed, completely white. He groaned; everything hurt, down to the tips of his fingers. He meant to ask himself, What happened? But the only thing that ran through his mind was _Mmahh_...

"Are you alright?" His eyes shifted lazily to the left, moaning at the loud noise.

"Oh, I'm sorry," came the whisper. "Wasn't thinking." Sirius just stared. His eyes were barely in focus, and all he saw was fuzz. He wanted to ask what was happening, who was talking to him, but he didn't want to talk. And if he did try, he was sure that he'd be able to do nothing but moan.

"What happened? Did you and Remus get in a fight?"

Sirius just stared, trying to remember. But everything hurt too much. He couldn't think.

"He's not answering," the woman said worriedly. Somewhere off to his right, a sharp voice said, "Shock. He'll get better, I promise."

"He'd better."

Sirius just moaned one last time before falling into an uneasy sleep.

He woke several times after that, but each time he felt more disoriented. It was until three days later that he was able to string a couple of words together and form it into a coherent thought. Before it had been mumbles that consisted of "Mm-mmm", "Where", and "Flink." The last had been an attempt to say "Think."

"Where..." he paused for a moment, realizing the wrong word was being said. "What happened?" He glanced around halfheartedly, hoping an answer would come into play. He had begun to recognize the person to his left to be James' mother. There she was now, fiddling with her hands, a worried expression cast over her features.

"Listen... it doesn't really matter what happened, all that matters now is that you're alright."

"But... scratches," Sirius complained.

"I know... I know..." Mrs. Potter murmured, but she said no more. Sirius was still a bit slow to catch on, but he figured there was something she wasn't telling him. Something important. _When I've recovered more I'll ask a Healer_, he decided_. Mrs. Potter sure isn't telling me anything_.

"Prongs? Wormtail? Moony?" he mumbled. "Where?"

"They're at school. I promised I'd contact them as soon as you woke. Are you feeling well enough to see them?"

"Mmm..." Sirius mumbled, which he hoped she'd take as a yes.

"I'll Floo right away," she said. She paused. "Would you like me to get a Healer in here with you? So you're not alone?"

Sirius almost said yes, but at the last moment, he decided against. "I'm fine," he said slowly. Mrs. Potter smiled sadly one last time before leaving the hospital room.

Twenty minutes later, the door to the hospital wing burst open. In came James and Peter. Remus was nowhere to be found.

"Padfoot!" James exclaimed. "You're awake! About time, too." Sirius put on a weak smile.

"Hey," he said, voice swooning a bit.

"How are you feeling?" Peter asked, watching Sirius anxiously.

"Good..." Sirius said, which was all he could muster_. I'm feeling terrible_ was just a bit out of his reach, even if it was the truth.

"Er... is now a good time?" James asked, glancing at the Healer, who was watching from the corner.

"Yeah." Sirius tried his best to sound convincing, but his voice broke and a yawn escaped his mouth.

"We'll come back tomorrow, alright?" James said. "It was nice seeing you, Padfoot."

"Wait," Sirius said suddenly, voice stronger than it had ever been. James and Peter spun around. "What happened?" _Happened_ was a difficult word to form, but the urgency of the situation made the act not as strenuous. James just stared at Sirius like he didn't understand and Peter paled slightly.

"You mean... you don't know?" James said quietly.

"What?" Sirius coughed.

"I... it's not my place to tell you. It's Moony's," he mumbled.

"Where?" Sirius gasped, all previous talking having winded him. He hoped that James understood.

"He... he had some work to do. He wished that he could've come, but..." James trailed off. "I'll see you later, OK? Get some rest, and get better. We'll... we'll get Moony over as soon as possible." With that he and Peter turned around and left, leaving Sirius with only the company of his confused and jumbled thoughts.

Remus' POV

"We just got back," James said, entering the common room. Remus stared at the table.

"How is he?" he asked quietly.

"He's alright," James said, although Remus could tell he was picking his words carefully. "He'll be fine, Remus. Don't worry." Remus narrowed his eyes at the table, forcing himself to calm down. He was too upset and ashamed to be mad.

"They should lock me up," he said, looking up. "Why... I'm forgiven. But I'll never forgive myself."

"Listen, Remus-" James said. "He doesn't know." Remus just stared.

"Doesn't know?"

"No. He must no remember. He was asking us what happened, like he had no idea. If we could just pass it off as an accident-"

"No." Remus looked up at James. "You don't understand. Nobody understands."

With that, he stood up, hurrying to the dormitory, promising himself he'd never come out.

**Thanks for all my readers!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Remus' POV

His promise didn't make it that far. By the time dinner rolled around, the words of his mates and his rumbling stomach finally brought him to make the journey downstairs. He was glad that the news hadn't made it around to the school; he didn't know what he would do if everyone found out. The knowledge that he was a werewolf was torture enough; to know that he had attacked someone? He must be expelled from the school!

Professor Dippet seemed to see it as an accident, however, and didn't hold it against him. That he was very thankful for, because, as much of a miserable state he was in, he couldn't bear to part with the school. He had no life to return to.

At first, James and Peter pestered him to talk to Sirius, seeing as he didn't want to keep it a secret. They stopped quickly, however, when they were rewarded the cold shoulder. Remus heard them, and he heard them loud and clear, but he didn't think he was ready for it. He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to cry or die or attack or even possibly do all three at the thought.

He felt like an idiot each time, but he found himself mentally preparing. He would go through what he wanted to say, then play through the worst and best case scenarios in his head. Most nights, it would leave him never wanting to talk to Sirius again, but occasionally, it left him with hope that he could somehow mend their broken friendship.

James and Peter had gone to see him two other times, and upon each visit they promptly gave an excuse as to why Remus couldn't make it.

"He understands," they assured him when he returned. They seemed happy enough; maybe Sirius's injuries weren't as bad as they made them out to be. _Maybe he's just healing fast..._ he thought.

After a week of desperately preparing himself and kicking himself in the butt, he finally made the decision to talk to Sirius and explain what was going on. He owed him at least that much.

He didn't want James and Peter to go with him. "Just by myself, okay? It'll be easier, I think," he said. The other two agreed, and saw him off.

Sirius' POV

"He's here." The door swung open and Remus in the doorway, looking torn, guilty, and sorry.

"Moony..." Sirius said softly. Despite the heavy medications he was being treated with, it was still difficult for him to talk.

"Um... hi." Remus didn't move, but switched his gaze to the floor.

"Finally made time to come see me, eh?" Sirius joked. Remus seemed to wince at his words.

"Yeah. Hey, sorry about that, mate."

"I understand." What Sirius didn't understand was why Remus wouldn't move his bloody feet and enter the room. It was making him feel awkward. "Are you... sick or something? Don't seem right."

"Of a sort," Remus muttered.

"Well... you going to come in?"

"Oh, sorry." He seemed genuinely surprised to find that he was still standing in the doorway. "Em... so how have you been doing? Recovering alright?"

"Oh yeah, I've been fine. Food's been great, why don't you try some?" Sirius motioned to the still fill platter at his bedside. Remus paled and declined the offer immediately.

"Ah, no, that's alright, it's yours. Need to keep your strength up, right?"

"So, how's school going?"

"Teachers pushing us harder than ever, of course. Been up to my neck studying, that's why I couldn't find time to come visit you. N.E.W.T.'s coming up in about two weeks now."

Sirius groaned. "Seriously? Next time you visit you need to bring me some books or something so I can study."

"Er... don't you need a bit more recovery for that?"

"What? No! I'm fine," Sirius assured him. "Healing just fine. See—ouch—I can almost move my arm in a complete circle." He attempted to show Remus, but finally gave up and hid his arm beneath the covers of the bed. "Well, almost. It's getting there."

Remus let out a laugh, but it seemed tight and forced.

"Something worrying you?"

"Well... um... how to put this..." Remus suddenly turned beet red and he muttered something inaudible. He turned his face away and let out a fake cough.

"Prongs and Wormtail said you had something to say about how I em... ended up like this." Sirius figured this was what it was about. The look on Remus' face told him he was right.

"Well... the thing is... What do you remember?" he asked quietly.

Sirius screwed up his face and dug. "Well... we talked... right? And there I was a fight? I think? Anyways, we were mad at each other, I'm sure. And then... well... that's like... it." All his concentration focused on his memory, it was becoming difficult to talk again. He focused intently on the covers of his bed, and Remus twisted his hands in his lap.

"So you don't know why we were mad."

"Well... no."

Remus hitched his breath and Sirius looked up, not sure why that was such a big deal. Without another word, Remus leaped up and practically bounded from the room.

"Hey!" Sirius mustered all the strength he could and called after him. There was no response.

Sirius sighed and shrunk back in his covers, his mind whirling in circles. What had happened? What were they fighting over? Why was Remus so upset? Sirius scrunched up his eyes and desperately tried to pull the memories from his mind. When nothing new came, he gave up and instead took to watching the doorway, waiting for Remus to come back.

He didn't.

**Sorry for the extremely short chapter U.U One more chapter to go, and then I've used up all my pre-written chapters. Anyways, thanks for the reviews!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Sirius' POV

Sirius received no visits for the remainder of the week. He was just fine with that; he needed some time alone to recover. However, he _also _wanted time to talk to Remus. He'd been trying to piece together the story, but was coming up with very little. He found that no memory past the day that he broke up with Remus was accessible. This made him slightly frustrated; why couldn't anyone tell him? If not Remus, why not James, Peter, or Lily? Surely they all knew what had happened.

He was informed that he would not be well enough to take the N.E. this year, which posed a slight problem. In the end, he agreed to study over the summer and take the exams a month into it.

Studying during the summer. _This _would be new.

It bothered him that he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life; at the moment, he worked part-time at the Leaky Cauldron in the summer. Would he just have to keep that?

James had been talking for a while now about becoming an Auror. At first Sirius thought he just wanted to impress Lily, but James took it seriously and asked Sirius for advice.

"What should I do?" he asked him. "I want to become an Auror, but I don't know."

Now would be the perfect time to do it, Sirius thought, what with the Death Eaters running amuck. They needed Aurors more than ever now.

Remus just sulked when the topic turned to careers; surely, nobody would want to hire a werewolf. It panged Sirius to see Remus like that, especially because he knew it was true.

"We'll all get a flat together," he promised everyone, "we'll all get a flat and share the money until he can make enough to live on our own. Sound fair?"

Everyone agreed to it.

James, Peter, and Lily came to visit Sirius several times after that. But not Remus. Never Remus.

At first, Sirius had pestered them about him. They would tell him that he was too busy studying, but after a while, whenever he brought up the subject, they'd just talk over him.

Something was seriously wrong.

"Can I write a letter?" Sirius asked a Healer one day.

"Sure, kid," the Healer said, and he left to provide Sirius with a piece of parchment and a quill.

"Holler for us when you're done," he said. "We'll send it off."

Sirius stared at his piece of parchment, suddenly at loss for what to say. Deciding to start on the basics-the stuff they could comfortably talk about-he started his letter.

_Moony,_

_Hey mate, I haven't seen you in a while! Exams must be kicking your butt, huh? Ah, well, how're you getting along there at Hogwarts? Does anyone miss me? Do _you _miss me?_

Sirius paused, then scribbled out that last sentence.

_I'm actually recovering quite well. The Healers said I'll be out in a couple of weeks. I'll be missing the N.E. , though. They told me I'd have to make them up in the summer._

_But hey, I didn't write this letter to have a friendly chat. We have something serious to discuss, and since you can't seem to be able to do it in person, I thought that by letter would make it a bit easier for you._

_From what I've gathered, the last memory I have is the day I broke up with you. Everything past that draws up a blank. So I need to know; did we get in a fight, and I just got the worst of it? Or did something else happen?_

_I can tell that this is seriously bothering you, and it worries me, mate. You really sound like you're beating yourself up about it. The others don't talk about you much, but when they do, it doesn't sound good. I'm slightly confused about the whole thing, and I just want straight answers._

_Sirius_

After reading it over a couple times, Sirius decided that it was stupid, and he crumpled up the parchment and tossed it across the room. Suddenly, he was _angry _with Remus; why couldn't the bloody prat just tell him what happened? Yeah, it might've been terrible, but their relationship-whatever relationship they had after the brake-up, Sirius didn't know-what going down the drain, and it was worrying him.

And yet, he thought he knew what was going on. Since Sirius broke up with Remus-something he _shouldn't _have done-they got in a fight and it ended rather badly. It was the only thing that could've happened. The only thing that would've caused Remus to act like this.

When the Healer returned, he asked, "Hey, when am I allowed to visit my friends?"

"Not for a couple more weeks, sorry," he said, and exited the room.

"Wait!" Sirius called. "Wait, one more thing!"

The Healer turned around, looking slightly annoyed.

"Can you send a letter for me?"

He grabbed a fresh piece of parchment and hastily scribbled,

_We need to talk._

He'd know who it was from.

"To Remus Lupin," he told the Healer, rolling it up and giving to him.

"I'll make sure it's sent," the Healer said, walking off.

Sirius leaned back in his pillows and began to wait.

Remus' POV

Remus was curled up in an armchair, desperately trying to finish homework that was due the next day, when there was a tap on the Common Room window. Upon seeing an owl sitting on the windowsill, he heaved a sigh and thrust the window open. Glancing around, he untied the scroll from his leg.

There was no name on the letter.

Curiously, he peeked. It was rather short. _Nobody'll mind, _he thought, ripping it open. Reading the four words upon it, he instantly knew who it was from.

Sirius' POV

"Mr. Black? There's a visitor here to see you. Remus Lupin?"

"Have him come in." Sirius propped himself up and tried not to wince in pain. Remus strode in, eyes on Sirius the whole time. He threw himself into the chair beside the bed. Then, they both started talking at one.

"I'm sorry I was being such a prat-"

"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry-"

Both men stopped and blinked at each other.

"You first," Sirius said, just as Remus said, "Sorry, continue."

They stared at each other some more.

"We got in a fight, didn't we?" Sirius asked boldly. Remus gulped and lowered his head.

"Yeah."

"And now you're beating yourself up about it." Remus looked at Sirius, eyes hollow and pleading. It broke Sirius' heart to see him like this.

"It was all my fault-it was so close to the full moon-I couldn't contain myself-I was just so _mad_-"

"Whoa, wait," Sirius interrupted. "Do you mean to say that-that… you attacked me in werewolf form?"

Remus looked away.

Slowly, everything began to fall into place. The scratches…the bite marks… Of course! It was near the full moon! Sirius almost felt like kicking himself. _How could I be so stupid as to not realize that? _

Remus cleared his throat and Sirius realized he had been glaring at the covers of his bed.

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered.

"Don't be… It was probably my fault, I was probably acting like a complete git."

"We both kind of were," Remus said, cracking a small smile.

"Don't stress about it," Sirius said. "Honestly. I'm recovering fine. Why didn't you want to tell me? Did you think I would hate you?"

"Something along those lines," Remus muttered.

Of course Sirius wouldn't hate him! Just because they got in a fight didn't mean that they had to hate each other!

Sirius realized that Remus was _crying. _

"This is all so stupid," he said. "If we didn't play that stupid Spin the Bottle game, none of this would've happened."

"Not true," Sirius said softly. "That game didn't make those feelings appear; something would've happened sooner or later to make us realize that we liked each other. This would've happened no matter what."

"Thank you," Remus said.

"What?"

"Thank you for not getting mad. Thanks for…thanks for everything. Thanks for giving me the best month of my life."

With that, he got up and left. Pausing in the doorway, he turned and gave Sirius one more sad look before leaving.

**Well, this is the end of my already written chapters, so updates will come a bit slower.**


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